MST of "THE PENPEN CHRONICLES: Part 1"

....ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...what was I laughing at? Oh well.

004 is here and there's nothing special (hooray) let’s see what I shall riff this time... ... ...GOT ONE!

Here we go.

***********************************************************************************************

[The scene: A well furbished apartment. Two lounges are set up in a V shape, with at least a doorways space between the ends, to face a large cabinet with a Wide-screen Digital TV opposite the front door. In a corner to the right of the TV, is a P.C., well equipped, I might add. It has state-of-the-art components like a 2Ghz Pentium 4 Processor, 40Gb Hard drive, Windows XP, Broadband internet access and stuff like that ... I think. Off to the left of the door is a kitchen. Around the place stand multiple doors leading to places men fear to tread, or couldn't be bothered going in. Either way, what lay beyond them is hidden in secrecy.]

Voice: [whistles] ...well they've got two minutes...

Max: Who has?

Voice:...you do. You’re here early.

Max: Had nothing better to do.

[5'6½", Dark-Blue Hair, Dark-green eyes, tannish skin, green shirt, grey pants and black boots would be a good description for Max today...what...you think they wear the same thing every day, do you?]

Voice: Where’s your friend?

Max: Who... oh, Seth. He said he had to do some stuff. I don’t know where he is.

Seth: I’m right behind you.

Max: AH SHIT! DON’T DO THAT!

Seth: Why not? It’s funny.

Max: To you, maybe.

Seth: Well, yeah, actually.

Max:...well, anyway, he’s here now.

Voice (sarcastic): Oh, gee, I hadn’t noticed.

Seth: Is that true?

Voice (flat): No!

[Now Seth...hmmm...5'7", Dark red hair, brown eyes, tanned skin, Blue Shirt, Black Pants, Black Boots...yeah, that’s about right.]

Voice: One minute...

Seth: ...till what.

Voice:...never mind.

Seth: Done.

[Seth and Max sit on the right couch, Seth closest to the TV.]

Seth: (to Max) So how long did they say the’d be?

Max: They should be here any second now.

Seth: Oh, I guess we’ll wait til then.

Voice: They’d better be, I don’t have all day you know.

Seth: Why? What else do you do everyday?
Voice: That’s none of your business.

Seth: ...I’ll take your word for it.

[A voice comes from the hallway...]

?: Oh, would you hurry up?! We’re gonna be late!

Seth: That would be them.

[Jessica walks in]

Jessica: Were not late, are we.

Voice (sighing): No, no.

Max: Frankly, I don’t know why you bother. This isn’t worth hurrying to get to on time.

Voice: WHO SAYS?!

Max and Seth: WE DO!!

Voice(mumbling): ...shutup.

Dim: I’d have to agree.

Jessica: What? This not being worth hurrying to?

Dim: ...no...well that is true - I meant them shutting up.

Max and Seth (sarcastic): Oh, hah hah.

Voice:...you heard that?!

Dim: ...yeah.

Voice: Oh...well, let’s begin, shall we?

Dim: Very well.

[Dim and Jessica sit on the left lounge, Dim furthest from the TV, which turns on.]

> The PenPen Chronicles, Episode 0:1: PenPen to the Rescue

Max: Yay, PenPen!

> By Adam Friedman

Max: Boo, Adam!

> Email Me at GodzillaXY@aol.com

Seth (whining): Do we have to?

> DISCLAIMER: Neon Genesis Evangelion and all of it's characters are owned by Gainax and not me.

Seth: Not if you’re not Hideaki Anno, they aren’t.

> Anyway, there aren't any spoilers, unless you aren’t up to the part where Asuka joins the crew.

Dim: Nope, seen it.

I wrote this story because I think PenPen deserves a bigger role.

All: He does?

Max: I think his current role’s pretty good. I wouldn’t mind a role like that.

Dim: You’d have a role like that, but you talk to much. He doesn’t talk at all.

Max: ...I think I’ve changed my mind...

PenPen, of course, is the lovable penguin who lives with Misato.

Seth (sarcastic): No, really, are you sure?

But don’t worry, the whole series is not just about PenPen.

Jessica: Why not?

This is part one in a series of I don’t know how many. So enough with the chit chat, now I present, "PenPen to the Rescue".

All (sarcastic): Yay.

> The sounds of yelling were coming from Misato’s apartment in Tokyo-3.

Max: What else is new?

Seth: PenPen’s the star.

Max: ...apart from that.

> "What!?!", yelled Asuka furiously, "Why can’t I take a short vacation to Germany! It’s Oktoberfest, I’ve gone to every single one since I can remember!"

Jessica: (Misato) It’s too far away!

> "We need to have all EVA pilots at NERV right now. The next angel can attack at any second!", replied Misato firmly.

Seth: That’s a good point.

> "You let Shinji go to that resort for the weekend!"

Max: She Did?!

> "That wasn’t a resort! That was the NERV hospital!

Max: Asuka, Asuka, Asuka. How could you confuse a hospital with a resort?! I mean, that’s just STUPID!

And he wouldn’t have had to go there if it wasn’t for you attacking him!"

Max: And you sent him there?!!

> "He had it coming to him! I was only defending myself. He was trying to feel me up!"

Max: You’re kidding, right?

> "He was turned the other way! You kicked him in the back!"

Max: This just gets worse and worse.

> "Details, details, details..."

Max: THAT’S ALL YOU CAN SAY??!!!

> The phone rang. Misato picked it up to answer. "Hello?", she said into the phone.

> Her face looked confused as she listened to the voice on the other line. She held the receiver away from her face and called, "PenPen, it’s for you?"

All: ...WHAT?!

> PenPen came out of his room. Misato bent over to hand it to him. PenPen began squawking happily into the phone as he went back into his room and closed the door.

Jessica: What about the phone cord?

Dim: I think it’s cordless. Of course, I don’t know how he’ll get good reception, inside a fridge.

> Misato and Asuka just stood their with confused looks on their faces.

Seth: I would, too, If I watched a penguin walk into a fridge, talking on a phone.

Max: Who wouldn’t?

Dim: Me.

Max:...well, apart from you.

> A little bit later at NERV headquarters, the three children were preparing for a test.

Dim: I wonder who they are.

> Misato was briefing them. "Today we are testing the AJF780, a new vehicle that you may have to use someday.", she explained.

Seth: In the year 2015.

Max: Uhh, this is NGE, it is 2015.

Seth: ...oh yeah.

> "Why would we fight in this hunk of junk when we have our EVA’s?", said Asuka.

Dim: I could ask the same question.

> "These aren’t combat vehicles. They are to be used to escape in case of an emergency. You are too important to risk, since you may be mankinds only hope.", said Misato.

Dim: I said ‘could’ not ‘would’.

> "No way am I leaving my unit 2 here!", yelled Asuka, "If it’s going down, I’m going down with it!"

Dim: I hope she means ‘aboard’ it.

> "This is only for extreme emergencies where the EVA’s are either destroyed or rendered useless.

Max: Well, they’ll be using it quite a bit.

We can always try to build more EVA’s. Finding pilots is harder."

Max: Not really. Just pick one.

Seth: Uhh, I don’t think it’s that simple.

> Shinji, Rei, and Asuka were sitting in the cockpit of the AJF780. The vehicle was about the height of a onestory building and about as long as a fighter jet.

Jessica: Very tall, not very long. Chubby.

Max, Seth and Dim: ...sure, we’ll go with that.

> Asuka was in the pilot seat while Rei and Shinji were behind her. Misato’s voice came on over the intercom. "You will be launched directly into Tokyo-3.

Jessica: Uhh, aren’t they protecting Tokyo-3.

Seth: 1) Sort of, 2) She meant ‘into it’s airspace’.

Jessica: Oh. For a moment there, I thought they were sending a chubby plane to crash into Tokyo-3.

Dim: And that’s a bad thing? ...oh well.

> Please get out of the metropolitan area first thing, so you can have more room to practice maneuverability."

Seth: Good Idea...if you can get past all the buildings.

, Misato said "When you are ready to switch pilots, remember to put it on hover mode. Ready Asuka?"

Max: What a question to ask.

> "Ready as I’ll ever be! Let’s rock and ride!", she said into the intercom.

Seth: Been watching too much BMFM, have we?

> An electronic voice said, "Opening departure gates in 5...4...3...2...1...We are ready to..."

Max: RUMBLLLLLLE!

[everyone else stares at him with a ‘what-the-F@*!’ look on their faces]

Max: Or not.

> Before the voice could finish it’s sentence, the ship blasted off up through the tunnel and into Tokyo-3. "Yeehaw!", yelled Asuka, "Now that’s what I call a rush!"

Seth: Uhhh, sort of. Now, Serena rushing to school because she’s late (which happens every school day, mind you), now that’s a rush.

Max: A different sort of rush.

Seth: ...are you sure? I mean...there’s more than one kind?

Max:...

> "Asuka, are you sure you’re supposed to be going that fast? You might hit a building...or worse!", said Shinji.

Dim: (Shinji) You might hit MEEE!!!

Jessica: He’s inside the ship, as well.

Dim (annoyed): I know that!

Max: Yeah, what if they crashed and he somehow hit the windscreen?

Jessica: I guess that’s a good point.

> "Stop worrying! You worry to much. Just hang on and enjoy the ride!" , Asuka said,

Max: It would be easier if it was the world’s freakiest thrill ride!

"You never see Rei worrying.

Seth (sarcastic): Gee, I wonder why...

How you doing back there, Rei?"

> "I am well, ma’am.", Rei replied quietly.

> "See? Happy as a clam!",

Dim: She doesn’t experience happiness.

Seth: Just like you.

Dim:...whatever.

Asuka said, "Hey, check this out!"

Max: Do we have to?

> Asuka did a loop with the AJF780.

Max: AAAAAGH!

Seth: OH GOD!!

> "I think I’m going to vomit...", said Shinji, who was turning green.

Seth: I feel sick just watching it.

> "Just not in here buddy!", said Asuka,

Seth: (Shinji) BLEAAUK! Oops, sorry.

Max: (Asuka) Oh shit. That’s gonna be murder to get out!

> "Hey, aren’t those your little buddies down there?"

Seth: Little? They don’t look like dots, do they?

> Touji and Kensuke were eating lunch at a ramen stand. Kensuke looked up and saw the ship, causing him to spit noodles on Touji. "Kensuke, you better have a good explanation for this.", said Touji, covered in ramen noodles.

> "Lo-Lo-Look behind you!", Kensuke yelled.

Seth: (Toji) What, WHERE?

> "I’m not falling for your jokes this easily."

Seth: That’s a surprise.

> "No! I’m serious! There’s some kind of huge hovercraft right behind you!"

Jessica: I believe he’s right.

> "Yeah right, and Rei Ayanami was voted best personality."

Dim: Like news, no personality is good personality.

Jessica: You can go on believing that.

Dim: Ok, I will.

> "And it looks like Asuka is sticking her head out the window!"

Seth: Dead. She forgot to open it.

Max: Yeah, I wish.

Seth: Me, too.

> Touji, angrily grabbed Kensuke’s collar and pulled him across the table. "You little liar," Touji said, "I wouldn’t believe you even if I heard her say..."

> "Hey fellas!", Asuka yelled from the hovercraft, "Wanna go for a ride?"

Seth: (Kensuke) Okay, then don’t believe me, see if I care.

> Touji almost fainted with surprise. "I’ll lower the entry port for you!", Asuka called back down to them.

> Back in the cockpit, Misato’s voice reappeared on the intercom. "Asuka, what are you thinking!?! You can’t let hitchhikers on an official NERV vehicle!"

Max: Yeah!

> "It was all Shinji’s idea, they’re his friends!", Asuka replied.

Max and Seth (coughing): Bullshit!

> "What!?!", said a shocked Shinji.

Jessica: She said it was your idea... and yes, we all know that’s a big fat lie.

> "Now where’s the intercom off switch?", Asuka said.

Seth: (Misato) Next to the ‘Self-destruct’ button...WAIT!

Max: BOOM! (Asuka) whoops.

> "Now listen young lady, the AJF780 has a tracking device, we’ll find you no matter what!", Misato yelled angrily, "And further more..."

Max: (Misato) 30c cones should still cost 30c at McDonald’s.

Seth: What was that for?

Max: No reason.

> Asuka flipped the intercom off switch. Touji and Kensuke climbed into the cockpit. Kensuke was excitedly scanning the cockpit with his video camera. "Hey Shinji! Thanks for inviting us for the ride!", said Touji.

Max: (Shinji) You’re welcome...HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!

> "I didn’t invite you! In fact, I insist we turn around and go back to NERV before we get in even bigger trouble!", Shinji said, annoyed at Asuka.

Seth: That’s our Shinji, spineless as always.

> Asuka flipped the tracking system switch to off. "Calm down third child!

Seth: His name is SHINJI!

We’ll return the ship in one piece! Oktoberfest here we come!", Asuka said, as they zoomed off out of Tokyo-3.

Dim (sarcastic): Bye Tokyo-3.

> Misato sat by her desk with her head in her hands. Ritsuko approached to comfort her. "It was beyond your control. There was nothing you could do.", said Ritsuko.

Max: (Ritsuko) Asuka is an inconsiderate brat. No-one can change that.

> "You’re just trying to be nice. I failed miserably. Asuka I should have expected this from, but Shinji?", said Misato,

Seth: Why? He didn’t do anything.

"Maybe I was too mean to Asuka before. Now they’ve run away and it’s all my fault. What if an angel attacks now? We’d be hopeless."

Jessica: That you would.

> "Don’t worry, I’m sure they’ll be back real soon and we can all forget this ever happened. This is her way of rebelling. She just needs a little bit to cool off. In fact, I remember a pair of lovebirds who ran away together for a whole week..."

Seth: Their names were Bob and Charlie.

Everyone else: EWW!

Max: Why’d you have to say that?!

Seth: Just wondered what your reaction would be if I did.

> "That was totally different! I didn’t know any better back then. And I don’t think this is the best time to bring up Kagi"

Dim: It never is.

> "Did I hear my name mentioned?", said Kagi, as if he had popped up from nowhere,

Seth: Nowhere. Another name for his house.

Max: What house. He doesn’t live anywhere.

Seth: That’s why ‘Nowhere’ is another name for his house.

> "My, my you 2 look lovely. How about a menage a trois?"

Seth: A what?

> "How about you leave and have a menage a une!", said an irritated Misato.

Seth: A huh?

> "Touche, mon amour.", replied Kagi,

Seth: Alright, enough with the French, already!

"Say Misato, doesn’t this remind you of something?"

Max: (Misato) Nope, doesn’t ring a bell.

> "Listen you pig headed idiot, you tricked me into running away with you! I was young and naïve!"

Max: You’d have had to be.

> "Oh you wanted it bad, baby."

Max and Seth: WOG BOY!

> "I did not!"

Max: (Kaji) Did too.

Jessica: (Misato) Did Not!

Max: (Kaji) Did too!

Jessica (Misato): DID NOT, YOU F@#!in’ PRICK!!!

Max (a little freaked): ...okay, that’s going a little too far.

Jessica (twiddling her index fingers) ...sorry.

> "And I think you want some right now..."

Jessica: POW! (Misato) HOW ‘BOUT I GIVE YOU SOME OF THIS, EH?!!

> "Do you have a death wish you ignorant, lying, sack of..."

Seth: Shit...I know that’s what you were going to say, don’t deny it.

> "I think I’ll leave you 2 alone now," said Ritsuko, giggling as she walked away.

Jessica: (Misato) GET BACK HERE, YOU SPINELESS WUSS! YOU’RE WORSE THAN SHINJI!

Max: (whisling) wooo! (normal) That is spineless.

> Meanwhile back on the AJF780, which was flying somewhere over the

ocean, Asuka was singing "Fly Me to the Moon",

Dim: We get that enough in the Japanese credits. We don’t need you singing it, too...although, you are annoying like that, aren’t you?

while Shinji, Touji, and Kensuke held their fingers in their ears. "Are you sure you know where you’re going?", said Shinji.

Jessica: (Asuka) I’m going to Germany, you Idiot!

Max: (Shinji) That helps...WATCH OUT FOR THAT MOUNTAIN!

Jessica: (Asuka) What mountain?!

Seth: CRASH!!!

> "I only lived there for the first 13 years of my life! All we need to do is find Europe and Germany will be a snap!",

Seth: (Shinji) Why do I get the feeling that my body is involved with that snap?

said Asuka, "Don’t you have faith in me?"

Max: In a word...Yes, I don’t.

> "To tell the truth not really!", said Shinji.

> "That makes 2 of us!", added in Touji.

Max: And then some.

> "What about you Kensuke?", asked Asuka. After not getting a response, whe repeated her question.

Dim: It’s pronounced ‘she’.

> "Where’s Kensuke?", she finally asked, confused.

Seth: Who knows? Who cares?

> "Hey guys! This shot’s going to be awesome!", yelled Kensuke, who was hanging halfway out the window filming the ocean.

> Shinji and Touji immediately jumped up to help Kensuke out of the window. But Rei didn’t move. She looked scared. "I have a bad feeling," said Rei.

Max (acting surprised): She speaks.

> "Why do you have to always be so negative? A bad feeling about what?", said Asuka.

Seth: A bad feeling about your reckless piloting.

> "I don’t know.", she replied, almost in a whisper.

Seth: Don’t worry, you’re not the only one.

> Meanwhile, workers back in Japan were busy drilling into the Earth in a spot in the woods not too far from Tokyo-3. The foreman was looking at a blueprint. "Hey Sami!", he called to his assistant, "Get over here!"

> "Yes boss?", said Sami, who was next to his boss almost immedietly.

> "Do you have any idea what this is? Look at these blue prints."

Seth: (Sami) Uhhh, pictures?

> "I haven’t the slightest idea. It’s supposed to be top secret."

> "Well go fetch me the guy who is hiring us. I want to have a word with him."

Dim: Let me guess who that is.

> Sami ran off. The foreman was still pondering the blueprints. Sami soon returned with Dr. Ikari.

Seth: Dr.? Yeaaahhh, thatt’ss riightt...

> "What exactly are we building here?", asked the foreman.

> "That information is classified," replied Dr. Ikari, "I need to be leaving right now, I have important work to do."

Max: (Gendo) I have to sit at my desk and tell people what to do while Seele pick at everything I do. (Gendo, whining) Gendo do this. Gendo, that was reckless. Your shoes are untied; How do you expect to run a company like that.

> Suddenly, they heard a rumbling, and then felt the ground begin to shake. All the workers froze as it got more intense. "What the hell is that?" said the foreman loudly.

Max: (Gendo (Mr. Burns)) How the bloody hell should I know?!

> Dr. Ikari began running away as fast as he could.

Max: (Bart Simpson) Gotta change that tape. Oh god, I gotta change that tape!

Seth: (Homer Simpson) Gotta change Maggie. Oh dear god, we gotta change Maggie!

As he ran, he took out his cell phone and pressed auto dial. "This is Ikari," he said into the phone, "We have an angel attack by the NERV Headquarters II construction sight. Send all EVA units available ASAP!"

> A huge angel pooped up from the ground.

Max: Aaaaaaaah, that felt good.

It was about the size of 2 EVAs. It had a huge eye that took up most of it’s head, and 2 huge tentacles that took the place of it’s arms. It’s chest appeared to be one giant mouth , full of sharp teeth. Workers were running in panic. Ikari dropped his cell phone in panic and dashed towards his helicopter.

Seth: AAAHH!! HOLY SHIT!!!

Dim: Gendo? Panic? Yeah...that..could..happen

> As Ikari got into his helicopter, he saw the angel grab a huge crane and squash it with it’s tentacle. The foreman ran up to the helicopter door. "I beg, you please, let me in! Let me in!", cried the foreman.

Seth: (Gendo) For the last time, NO!!!

> Ikari slammed the door shut and the helicopter took off, leaving the foreman behind.

> Back at NERV,

Seth: Where we find some big machines and lots of little people to squash with them.

Max: What was the point of that?

[Seth shrugs]

the red alert signal was blaring.

Max: Beep Beep Beep.

Misato was on the phone yelling at the Navy. "What do you mean you can’t find them?!?", yelled Misato, "They have to be somewhere! I told you, the ship can block radar! I don’t care how you find them, just find them!"

> Misato slammed down the phone. A technician ran up to her. "Misato! Misato!", he said, "What are we going to do?"

> "Pray", she said quietly.

Seth: (technician) I’ve done that, now what?

Max: (Misato (Mr. Burns)) How the bloody hell should I know?!

> Meanwhile in Misato’s apartment, PenPen was bathing in the bath tub along with 2 beautiful women.

Max: I’d really like to have his role.

He was sipping a glass of champagne, as the deep sounds of Barry White played in the background. "Oh PenPen, you are the greatest. You’re not like all the other guys. You know how to satisfy a woman in ways that other men can’t."

Seth: As a penguin.

> PenPen let out a squawk. Then, the phone rang. After a few more rings, the answering machine came on. "Asuka! Shinji!", Misato said over the answering machine, "This is Misato! If you are hiding out here, report to NERV immediately! There is an angel attack! Hurry!"

> PenPen, hearing that the message was over, jumped out of the bathtub and rubbed himself dry with a towel. "PenPen, come back in, the water’s warm.", said one of the women.

Seth: I’m not sure how to take that.

> PenPen strapped on his rocket pack, walked to the window and launched off.

Max: Okay, since when does PenPen have a rocket pack?

The women stayed in the tub, obviously disappointed.

Max: At least they didn’t leave.

Seth: That has to count for something. I’m not sure what, though.

> Back in the AJF780, Asuka was flying with one hand and reading a map with the other.

> "So, are we in Germany yet?", joked Touji.

> "I think we might be possible almost there," replied Asuka.

Seth: (Toji) So you’re saying that we’re nowhere near it.

> "Well we better be, for it looks like we’re out of fuel!", said Shinji, pointing to the empty fuel meter.

Max: (Kensuke, terrified) WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!

> "Dammit!", yelled Asuka, "What are we going to do now?"

Max: (Shinji) PANIC!!!

> "I don’t know, this was your crazy idea, Captain Asuka!", yelled back Shinji.

Jessica: Captain? You spineless coward.

> "Land ho!", said Kensuke,

Seth: Arrgh, matey!

> looking out of the window, "I see some sort of city at 9 o’clock!"

> "Then that’s where we’re going!", said Asuka, and began shifting towards the city.

Max: Asuka, you idiot. That could be any city: Paris, London...

Seth: New York.

Dim: Tokyo-3

Jessica: Around the world, without visiting Germany. Now that’s pointless.

> As they came closer, they realized the city was much bigger than they imagined. "Hey, what’s that big statue?" asked Shinji.

> "That looks like the Statue of Liberty. It was destroyed in the second impact and then rebuilt. That means that we must be in New York City!", said Asuka.

Seth: Hey, I was right.

> "I think we might not make it!", said Kensuke.

> Their altitude was decreasing rapidly. "What are we going to do!", yelled Asuka in panic.

> "All I can say is I hope you like water!", said Kensuke.

Seth: What kind of water?

> The ship crashed into the water, making a huge splash.

All: Splash.

> Back at NERV, Misato was pacing back and forth. Ritsuko walked up to her. "The angel has reached Tokyo-3. Should we abandon headquarters?", Ritsuko asked.

Jessica: (Misato) Again?!

> "It looks like we have no other choice," said Misato.

> Then, she felt a tugging at her dress. She looked down to see PenPen.

> "How did you get in here?

Max: With a jetpack he got from nowhere.

Seth: What, Kaji’s house?

Max: No, A different nowhere.

Seth: Oh, you mean hammerspace.

Max: Yeah, that’s it.

You know you aren’t supposed to be here.", she asked surprised to see him here.

> PenPen began squawking and flapping his wings around excitedly. "Cancel the evacuation," Misato said, "We have a pilot!"

All:...we do?

> "You can’t be serious! A penguin can’t pilot an EVA!", said Ritsuko, "We tested PenPen back when we first started the project and he couldn’t synchronize!"

All:...you did?

> "If you don’t remember, the first few times we tested Rei, she wouldn’t synchronize either! Besides, doesn’t PenPen have the same thing in common that Rei, Shinji, and Asuka have? There’s no reason why he can’t pilot an EVA."

Seth: Sure there is.

> "This is crazy!"

> "But it’s crazy enough to work..."

Max: I hear that so many times...

> Meanwhile, the angel was working his way through the city. Some of the buildings were stuck halfway through while lowering into the ground. The angel smashed them with his tentacles. A gun raised from the ground and began firing, so the angel smashed the gun to pieces with ease.

Seth: What else is new?

> Back underground, PenPen was being inserted into Unit 1.

Max: Don’t forget the plug.

Seth: Don’t forget the plug suit...if there is one his size.

Misato stood by the window, waiting to his if he’d synchronize correctly. "He synchronizes!", said the surprised technician, "Nowhere near as good as the regular pilots, but he can operate it much better than the average person."

All: You’re kidding, right?

> "We are ready to launch," said Misato.

> On the surface, an emergency van was driving around blaring, "Evacuate the area! Evacuate the area! We have an emergency situation!"

All: Well, duh!

> As the van turned the corner, it came face to face with the angel. The van began to back up as fast as it could but the angel was in hot pursuit. The angel’s tentacle was just about to get the van, when it was distracted by gunshots to it’s back. It was PenPen in Unit 1!

All (sarcastic): Hooray.

> The angel turned around and began charging at Unit 1 furiously, but it leaped over the reach of the huge tentacles. As it landed behind the angel, the EVA drew it’s sword, and stabbed the angels back.

Dim: What sword?!

> The angel roared with pain, and reached behind itself with a tentacle and grabbed the EVA and swung it back around. It launched the EVA as far away as it could and then charged at it to finish it off. As it approached the fallen EVA, it lashed at it with a tentacle, that the EVA sliced off with it’s sword.

> The angel writhed around in pain, but not for long as it soon grabbed hold of the EVA with it’s other tentacle and swallowed most of it, crunching on it with it’s huge fangs. The power supply was suddenly disconnected, and only a minute of power was left!

Seth: I thought it was five minutes.

> Suddenly, the EVA’s fist punched through the back of the angel, and leaped out soaked with yellowish saliva.

Jessica: ...ew.

As the angel lay there on it’s back, the EVA flew at with it’s sword in hand.

Dim: There’s not supposed to be an apostrophe on that ‘its’, Adam.

Seth: And what did he fly at? If it’s the Angel, you’ve gotta mention something about it. ‘the Eva flew at it’ would do, you know.

It swiftly dodged the deadly tentacle, and lunged it’s sword into the eye of the beast, triggering a gigantic explosion.

All: POP!

> As the smoke cleared the EVA walked away triumphant, until it collapsed from power loss.

Seth: (Homer simpson) I’m king of the world! Woohoo! Woohoo Woohooai...WAAAAAAH!...ooh ahhh eeh ow d’oh uhh ee ooh uh geejow ooh ee uhh ahh eee ohh uhh, <gasp> <sigh of relief> d’oh.

> Back in NERV, everyone was celebrating the success. "PenPen’s a hero!", yelled Misato proudly.

Max: Who would’ve guessed.

They all watched on the moniter as PenPen got out of the EVA and let out a squawk. Everyone cheered excitedly.

Dim: Uninjured? That’s odd!

> Meanwhile, Dr.Ikari was in the hologram meeting room, speaking to the board.

Max: (Gendo) This is the ‘Seele’ I was talking about. Oh boy.

> "You let a penguin pilot an EVA!?!", one of the men yelled at Ikari loudly, "What have you been smoking?!?"

Seth: (I&S Writer) We were eating rotisserie chicken.

> "That wasn’t a penguin. Let me introduce you to...the fourth child.", said Ikari.

Seth: What about Toji?

> "That’s a lie and you know it!", yelled the man angrily.

Seth: Yeah, Toji is. PenPen is the fifth child.

> "He destroyed the EVA, isn’t that enough?"

Dim: Don’t you mean ‘Angel’?

> "You win this round Ikari, but next time you’ll be sorry."

Seth: (Gendo) Oh, that’s what you said last time.

> The holograms all disappeared. "Dick," said Ikari to himself.

Seth: Who, them or you?

> The hologram of the man appeared again, "I heard that!"

Seth: I believe it was them.

> Meanwhile, Shinji, Asuka, Rei, Kensuke, and Touji were climbing out of the water onto a dock. "What now Captain?", said Shinji to Asuka.

Seth: Enough with the ‘Captain’ already.

Max: What if he’s teasing her.

Seth: Hmm, good point. Continue.

Dim: I somehow doubt he was.

> "Listen you little...", Asuka yelled angrily before being interrupted by Kensuke.

Jessica: Why stop there? ROTTEN PIECE OF SHIT, I COULD SMASH YOU INTO LITTLE TINY PIECES...

Dim: Stop that.

Jessica: Ohh, Ohkaayy...

> "Why don’t we find someplace where we can sit and rest so we can dry off and figure things out?", said Kensuke.

> "Good idea, let’s go!", said Shinji.

> A little bit later, they were all in a bar drinking sodas, still wet from the water.

Seth: Being wet doesn’t bother me when I’m havin’ soda.

Max: Me, neither.

> Shinji, Kensuke, and Touji were all sitting together, and Rei was a few seats down.

Seth: (Toji) HEY REI! WHAT’S IT LIKE DOWN THERE?!

Dim: (Rei) Okay, I guess.

> "Where’s Asuka?", said Shinji.

Dim: That’s what I was going to ask.

> "Probably in the bathroom drying off.", said Touji, "So do you have any ideas on what to do now?"

Seth: (Shinji) Uhh, no.

> "I guess we can call NERV and tell them where we are.", said Shinji.

All: Good Idea!

> "Hey you guys, what kind of bar is this?", said Kensuke, "I’ve never seen one like it. What is this? A stage?"

> His question was answered as a stripper walked out onto the stage and began dancing erotically. "A strip club!", said Shinji, "With strippers!"

Dim (sarcastic): No, A strip club with dressers.

> Kensuke had his camera posed at the stripper and Touji was staring with his tongue hanging out.

[Seth and Max start panting like dogs with their tongues hanging out.]

> "What kind of woman would do something like this?", said Shinji.

Dim: Why do I get a bad feeling about this?

> Asuka jumped out from behind the curtain wearing barely nothing.

Dim (eyes staring in shock ...no seriously): That’s....why...!

Shinji, Touji, and Kensuke screamed. "Now here’s a traditional German dance always done at Oktoberfest!", said Asuka.

[Everyone stared at the TV with their eyes and mouths wide open...even Dim...yes, it was that shocking, trust me.]

> Shinji was still sitting motionless with shock, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. It was a naval officer.

All: (Shinji): GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!

> The next day, they were all back in Tokyo-3. Asuka, Shinji, Misato, and PenPen were standing outside of their apartment. PenPen was wearing a badge of honor. "I hope you’re happy with yourselves," said Misato.

All: HELL, NO!

> "We’re sorry," said Asuka, "I should have convinced Shinji not to do it."

Dim: Why? He didn’t do anything.

> "At least I didn’t make a fool out of myself by...", said Shinji.

All (quickly): Please don’t go there!

> "It was all my fault!", said Asuka.

Max: You’re damn right it was!

> "I thought so.", said Misoto, "Now let’s get some rest."

> Misato opened the door to see 2 women wearing bathrobes. "PenPen, where were you? We were waiting here for you to get back forever!", said one of the women.

Max: (PenPen) I was just fighting an Angel, using an Evangelion. Nothing serious.

> "PenPen!!!!", yelled Misato angrily, as she chased PenPen down the hall.

All: GO, MISATO, GO!

[the fic starts...er stops]

Seth: Well, that was ... different.

[silence]

Seth: Uhh, hello, Voice, It’s over.

[nothing]

Seth: HEY, WAKE UP!!

Voice: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!

Dim: Sleeping, were we?

Voice: No, I-I was just stunned by that-that-that-that...

Max: Yeah, we know, you don’t have to explain.

Voice: Really? Oh, phiewwww! I never want to see that again.

[sounds of burning]

Voice: There! It shall never be seen again.

Seth: What if there are other copies?

Voice: What?! [sound of fainting]

Seth: Uhh, hello. Earth to Guy-in-the-ceiling! Oh well. Let’s go.

Max: What did you think, Seth?

Seth: I thought it was sorta funny. It was out-there. A little more than the series, anyway. I mean, PenPen with a jetpack? Piloting an Eva? Now I’ve seen everything.

Max: Especially that last bit.

[Max and Seth shudder]

Max: Asuka planning to go to Germany and ending up in New York? That is so like her.

Seth: And Rei said barely anything, as usual.

Max: Reminds me of someone I know.

Seth: Speakin’ of which, what did you guys think?

Jessica: That was wild, freaky and scary! And I’m just talking about the plane ride. ...you, Dim?

Dim: Three words: different, strange, shocking.

Seth: Well put.

Dim: Let’s go, already.

Max: I’m with you.

Seth: Me, too.

Jessica: count me in.

[They all leave, Jessica turning off the lights.]

Voice: Wh-what. Hey, where’d everybody go?

My site: www.geocities.com/SSJ2GohanSupreme

My e-mail: Coramaximus@hotmail.com

Adam Friedman’s site ... There is none...to my knowledge, anyway.

Email: GodzillaXY@aol.com - in case you forgot.

Note from me: Number four complete (huzzah). Hope you like. Nothing left to say, really.

CRSinclair

C. Sinclar – Author, and owner of

Coramaximus

and its concept

> "Now where’s the intercom off switch?", Asuka said.

Seth: (Misato) Next to the ‘Self-destruct’ button...WAIT!

Max: BOOM! (Asuka) whoops.