MST of EVA Sage's "SHINJI'S PROBLEM"

MAXIMUS THEATRE

... But you already new that ... or did you [looks shifty eyed at people]

Well, anyway, that’s what it is (Really, I swear it is!) It’s where I riff MSTs (If you didn’t know that, then I suggest you look at the ‘Maximus Theatre’ home page for a while, you stupid twits...and I use that term loosely. If you don’t know what an MST is, well...that’s what the ‘What is an MST?’ link is for.)

This is an example...as the rest are...I think.

Number 5, here we go

************************************************wait a sec, 5 was CAUP (Don’t know what that is, home page...think about it...)

Now for number fi- er, six, yeah, 6.

Number 6, here we go.

...that’s right, isn’t it?

*******************************************************************************************************************************

[The scene: A well furbished apartment. Two lounges are set up in a V shape, with at least a doorways space between the ends, to face a large cabinet with a Wide-screen Digital TV opposite the front door. In a corner to the right of the TV, is a P.C., well equipped, I might add. It has state-of-the-art components like a 2Ghz Pentium 4 Processor, 40Gb Hard drive, Windows XP, Broadband internet access and stuff like that ... I think. Off to the left of the door is a kitchen. Around the place stand multiple doors leading to places men fear to tread, or couldn't be bothered going in. Either way, what lay beyond them is hidden in secrecy.]

[Through the front door (not literally, of course; the door was open. For some reason, it always is...usually.) came a boy, 6'1" with Black Hair, Dark-Blue eyes, Whitish skin, red tank top, black shorts, white sport shoes... and that ODD backpack [shudders] WHAT’S WITH THE BACKPACK! I HATE THAT THING!!!...[loudly clears throat] anyway...]

Corey: Home again, home again, jiggady jig...so to speak. Sure seems that way; I spend enough time here.

[He takes a seat on the left seat (or the right, depending on where you’re looking from...but I’m not going to go into that now, OK? Oh, and it’s actually a lounge, big deal. It’s not my day, today, is it!?]

[He lay down and waited......and more dots (Oops, said that out loud). He looked at the PC over in the far corner(right of the PC, in case you don’t read the scene creation bit at the beginning...er, I meant TV, heh heh...staying at home everyday is getting to me. I don’t believe it.

Moving on...)]

Corey: Hmm, might as well check my e-mails while I wait.

[He went over to the PC, sat in the chair and turned on the computer at the terminal. The monitor, directly connected to the tower, automatically switched on. The PC made several buzzing noises that it usually made when starting up. After it had completed loading up(loading a program which I’d rather not say for multiple reasons that I also will not go into here, mm-hey...sorry.) and he logged in, he accessed the web and checked his e-mails...like he said he would. Funny that.

Corey: [checking his e-mails] hmm, no e-mails...Dang! Oh wait, there’s one...Ohh it’s just something about penis enlargement. Smeggin’ Hell! I hate junk mail like this – the junk mail I don’t need or can’t use to my advantage. Welp, that can be fixed. [he pressed the delete key (if you can access this MST, then you should know what that is.) and the e-mail (if you can call it that, I’ve got a special name for that sort of thing – Junk!) went to his deleted items folder.] that takes care of that shit.

?: What shit.

[Corey Turns around to see David standing near the door in his red sleeveless shirt (well, sorta, the sleeves were actually ripped), red pants, blue wristbands and black boots. His black, spiky hair was fairly long, going down his back and also covering most of his chest.]

Corey: Oh, just a shitty e-mail.

David: Ooh, are there any for me?

Corey: ...why would there be any for you? You’re a made-up character.

David: Oh yeah.

Corey: Take a seat, we’ll be here a while.

David: Probably.

[David takes a seat on the right couch (couch, lounge, seat, whatever), farthest from the TV (NOT PC, TV! I’m glad you understand. CAUSE, IF YOU DON’T...)]

David: I wonder if they have drinks in this joint. Cans of Coke, for example.

Corey: Possibly. If there is, then they’d probably be in the fridge.

David: Go have a look, then.

Corey: [complaining] But that means I’d have to go into the kitchen.

David: So?

Corey: Why don’t you go?

David: You’re closer!

Corey: [standing up] Oh, so I have to go because I’m closer, huh?

David: Well, yeah.

Corey:[walking over to David] I could just sit on that other lounge, where I was, and then you’d have to go!

David: You wouldn’t, that’s stupid.

Corey: I ‘m the kind of guy that would.

David: You’re stupid!

Corey: Why don’t you go?

David: Why don’t you?

Corey: I asked you first!

David: Oh, so now, it’s who was asked first who should go, then?

Corey: YES IT IS!

David: Well, stuff that, I don’t want one!

Corey: Neither do I. [turns his back to David]

Dimitri (monotonous, as always): I’ll go!

Corey:...how long have you been there?

[Dimitri had been standing near the door, about where David stood moments before.]

Dimitri: I arrived a couple of seconds before David did.

Corey: You’re pretty quiet, I didn’t notice you.

Dimitri(surprisingly sarcastic): Good for you.

[Dimitri went into the kitchen and looked in the fridge]

Dimitri: It appears that there isn’t any.

Corey: Ah, crap. I’ll go down and get some, how’s that sound?

David: If you’re payin’.

Corey: Yeah, yeah. I’ll go get a couple of 30-packs, I’ll get some ice and an esky for one. [walks to the door and looks back] And I’ll put the other in that fridge.

Dimitri: Good Idea.

David: See ya when you get back.

[Corey leaves]

Dimitri: He won’t be back for a while.

David: Probably not. Have a seat.

Dimitri: Very well.

[Dim sits on the right lounge next to David, closest to the TV.]

David: Well, we’ll have to wait till he gets back then, won’t we?

Dim: It appears so.

[They waited. Passing the time by talking about...well, stuff. partially about their ‘girlfriends’ (Not going into whether they are actual girlfriends or just friends who just happen to be of the female gender at this time.) and their similarities and differences.

...I should’ve just left it as stuff, shouldn’t I?]

[half an hour later...]

David: So, she’s that annoying, huh? Well, I still say that my Jess is more annoying

Dim: And I still say that I don’t really care about it. My Jess is annoying, that’s all I have to say.

David: ...hmm, fair enough.

Corey: [coming up the hallway] I can’t believe you!

?: [also coming up the hallway] I got lost. I missed my dimensional stop.

Corey: [still coming up the hallway] And ended up in my shopping centre?!

?: [also still coming up the hallway] Hey, I’d never been to you’re world before, I had no idea where I was!

Dim: That’s Corey, and he has someone with him.

David: Yeah, I noticed that.

Corey: [still in the hallway]It’s a good thing, Bulbazor was in his poke-ball, everyone thought they were just play toys.

?: [still in the hallway] I know! I see a lot of kids who like pokémon, but no pokémon.

Corey: In my world, your world is just a creation of some guys at a company called Nintendo and some other ones.

?: Then how come I exist?

Corey: You exist because I created you, in my version of Nintendo’s ‘Pokémon world’.

?: Well, that makes ...huh?

Corey: [coming to the door] Never mind.

David: Hey, you’re back.

[Corey enters with an esky under his left arm and a 30-pack of Coke^®. Cozza enters with a few bags of chips and other things]

Dim: Who’s that with you.

Corey: Oh, you all remember Cozza, don’t you.

Dim: Hello.

Cozza: Yeah, hi.

Corey: Funnily enough, I met him down in a shopping centre in my dimension while I was getting this stuff.

David: So?

Corey: He comes from a different dimension.

David: How does he get here?

Corey: Same way you do.

David: (Homer Simpson) Ahh, touché.

[Corey put the esky beside the left lounge and went to the kitchen and put the 30-pack in the fridge.]

Corey: [from the kitchen] Hey, this place ain’t so bad.

Dim: What gave you the idea that it was?

Corey: [from the kitchen] ... I dunno.

[Corey put the 30-pack in the fridge and came back and sat on the left lounge with Cozza, Cozza sitting closest to the TV and Corey farthest from it.]

Corey: Well, we’re ready.

David: Where’s the other 30-pack?

Corey: In the esky.

David: ...I should’ve thought of that, I really should’ve... could you pass me one?

Corey: Sure. [He opens the esky and pulls out a can.] Here you go. [He passes the can to David who, not being a stupid twit, caught it.] Anyone else want one?

Dim: I’ll take one.

[Corey pulls out another can tosses it to Dim who catches it with lightning quick reflexes. Typical.]

Cozza: Could I have one?

Corey: [pulls out yet another can] Catch. [He passes it to Cozza, who catches it. It’s hard to miss from that close range. He then pulls one out for himself and closes the esky.]

David: [opening his can] Well, I guess we’ll be starting soon.

Corey: Yep.

Dim: Yep.

Cozza: Yep.

David:...Yep.

[five minutes and four cans later (one can each)]

[...]

[Corey looks at his watch]

Corey: Alright, Guy-in-the sky, WHERE THE F@#! ARE YOU?!!

Voice: Hey hey, I’m trying to sleep here!

[...]

Corey: Uhh, it’s 12 PM

Voice: I know. I’ve got to get some sleep, I’ve got a job just before noon.

Dim: 12 PM is noon.

Voice: ...uh oh.

David: How could you not know? Look out the window.

Voice: I live in a room without windows.

Cozza: Don’t you have a clock?

Voice: No.

Corey: How would you know if it’s noon.

Voice: VCR clock.

Corey: 1) That’s a clock, 2) Can’t you see it?

Voice: 1) Oh yeah, 2) I can...I just can’t set it.

Corey:...just get on with it.

Voice: Alright, keep your pants on.

David: Put your’s on.

Voice: What are you, my mother.

David: Just do it.

Voice: What are you, Nike?

Corey: Just do it!!

Voice: What are you...

ALL: JUST DO IT!!!

Voice: Alright!

[...]

Corey: Uhh, where’s the fic?

Voice: ...you want me to get the fanfic and put my pants on! What do you want first?

All: The Fic!

Voice: ...Very well.

[The fic FINALLY starts as Corey gets another four cans out of the esky and hands one each to the other three, keeping one for himself.]

> Shinji's Problem

Corey: So Shinji has a problem. What else is new?

> By Ketheres Elyion

David: (Moe Syzlak) ...That’s the dumbest name I’ve ever heard

Cozza: (Joey Jo-Jo) Jaaw, haw, haw, haw, haw, haw [starts to cry and runs out of the room]

Corey: (Barney Gumble) Hey! Come back Joey Jo Jo!

> Shinji lay on his bed, as always, listening to his music. As per his custom, he was trying to push back any thoughts out of his mind with the aid of his SDAT player.

Dim: Whatever one of those is.

Trying to remove anything that brought him discomfort. There was one thought that still wouldn't go away though.

David: (Shinji) Misato’s got a sweet ass!

[everyone else looks at him...funny]

David: ...sorry, that kinda slipped out.

> It was a strange thought, one he was not used to thinking. It was one of attraction. The attractions of Shinji Ikari were always strange ones.

Corey: That’s true.

David: I agree.

He had never even given girls a second though when he was living with his uncle. Of course, he never really gave anything a second thought back then,

Corey: That’s a good point.

nothing really mattered. But now, he had to make decisions. Life was no longer the meandering stream that once carried him along. It was now a raging river that threatened to drown him if he didn't make choices.

Corey: (Oblina) Help, I can’t swim!

> He didn't mind choices so much. He could handle decisions when he had to. What really bothered him were the things that seemed to pop up out of nowhere in particular and grab his attention.

David: Think fast! [throws a punch at Dim, who grabs it...with lightning quick reflexes, I might add.] ...that’s fast.

It seemed that now that he was more active, there was more in the world. And one of those things was girls.

> It wasn't that he wasn't appreciative. Sure, girls were nice to look at.

David: Ain’t it the truth.

Corey: You got that right.

It was a lot better than looking at the leering faces of Kensuke and Toji all day.

Corey: (Burns) Well, duh!

But he had never really developed any sort of opinion about them beyond whether this one was good-looking or not. Such things had never interested him - so he claimed.

Cozza (who had come back, right after he left): He’s lying!

> Of course it was lie,

Cozza: I just said that!

and he knew his friends saw through it to some degree or another.

Corey: Or at least he thought they did. I don’t think Toji and Kensuke, them being thicker than ten feet of solid concrete, actually could have.

But the lie was more for his own sake than theirs. He never liked expressing his emotions, even to himself. To accept that he was attracted to someone would have been devastating to his idea of himself, the solitary kid that no one could ever like.

Cozza: So, he’d rather be a loner than admit he’s attracted to someone.

Dim: That’s Shinji for you.

To believe that he was attracted to others would open the idea that he was attractive to others

David: ...well that makes...huh?

Corey: I’m not sure that’s entirely true, Shinji.

- an idea so alien to him he couldn't comprehend it. Nor did he want to comprehend it.

> Sometimes he wanted to go back to his uncle's home, where everything was nice and boring.

Corey: [takes another sip of coke^®] Um, I’m kinda boring and it’s not that great.

Dim: The grass is always greener on the other side.

Corey: [takes another sip] ...whatever.

Where nothing ever really happened. Where he didn't have to live, just exist. But he couldn't go back, because he knew he would never be happy now that he had experienced what he had as a pilot. As a pilot, he was powerful. The vanguard of an elite few who had the power to protect humanity. A savior of the planet. At least he'd like to think that way.

David: What’s wrong with that spelling.

Cozza: No bacon?

Corey: ...Um, no. There’s no ‘u’ in ‘saviour’ and there should be.

David: That’s Americans for ya.

Dim: Yep

Corey: Yep.

Cozza: Yep.

David: [takes a sip of coke^®]...Yep.

> A thought suddenly interrupts all others. It wades into his stream of consciousness and redirects the flow back to its original destination.

Cozza: China?

Corey: ....nnno... more like his floor.

Cozza: How?

Corey: He simply falls out of his bed...that is if it’s a bed and not just a mattress...of course he can still fall out of that.

Cozza: True, true.

> You can't change the subject that easily Shinji, you haven't worked out the problem that got you here tonight.

All: And he never will.

> True enough. Shinji Ikari had a problem. It bore the name of Hikari Horaki

Corey: ... You’re kidding, right?

> - class representative of II-A (and don't you forget it).

David: Ok .........forget what?

Everyone else: [shrugs] I dunno.

She always did seem to be a little domineering, maybe that's why she could stand Asuka.

Dim: To stand Asuka, you’d have to be.

> He never had quite got Asuka figured out, she was more of an active project for consideration.

Corey: And forgetting about.

Cozza: Or leaving half done.

David: Or doing a half-assed job of.

Corey: ...not even that.

> Once again, something intercedes in the proceedings. Get back on subject Shinji, no dodging the problem.

David: Ouch, I almost did.

> The problem. Hikari. Hikari Horaki. Hiraki Horaki,

Cozza: I thought it was ‘Hikari’

Corey: The idiot can’t spell it right after doing so twice in the same line.

David: Now that’s stupid.

the class rep. Hikari Horaki...

> Quit stalling.

Corey: That’s what I’d tell my car...if I had one.

> Realizing the futility of fighting himself, Shinji rolls over onto his stomach and turns up the volume. Maybe he can just run away instead.

David: He’s good at that.

Corey: No, he’s good at telling himself not to, then running away, then coming back.

David: Yeah, well, I’m good at avoiding that.

Corey: Isn’t everybody?

David: (Burns) How the bloody hell should I know?!

Corey: Hmm, true.

> I mustn't run away!

> Dammit! It was annoying to have a spine now;

Corey (sarcastic): Yeah, It sucks to stand up straight.

he had to face what it was that was bothering him. Used to he could have blocked it out. Alright. The problem.

Cozza: Yes, the problem that became the title of this fic.

> There really wasn't any problem, at least not with Hikari herself. It was more like Shinji's problem with Shinji about Hikari.

David: Well that makes...huh?

For some reason or another, he had been unable to think of much else lately, and he couldn't figure why.

> Why?

Corey: (Abe Simpson) I’m in love.........no, wait, it’s a stroke...............no, wait it is love. I’m in love!

Dim: Are you done yet?

Corey: As a matter of fact, yes. [takes another sip]

> It wasn't like the situation with Asuka, the fiery red head who had dropped into his (and everyone else's) life overnight.

David: Like an atom bomb!

Corey: Or an N-2 Mine!

David: Yeah, that too.

Hikari had always been there. Dependable. She had always been willing to help anyone who needed it. Friendly. She was a very comforting person. Kind. And as far as looks went, she wasn't a goddess - but she did beat out nearly everyone else in the class. Attractive.

Corey: The complete opposite of Asuka.

David: I was just gonna say that!

Corey: Gotta be quicker.

David: Shutup!

> And she was - for all intents and purposes - Toji's girlfriend, even if Toji himself hadn't caught on.

Corey: He is just that dumb.

Taken.

David: Really? Aw geez.

> But was it that Shinji really wanted her like that. A relationship? Could he ever have one with anyone? Asuka was about the only one, but history was not too favoring of that pairing.

Corey: Definitely

Besides, he'd like to be able to kiss a girl without the fear of being asphyxiated while doing it.

Corey: That would be nice, wouldn’t it?

But that wasn't what he wanted. Wasn't it?

Dim: No.

> Or was it?

Dim: Okay, then yes.

> What was so amazing about the opposite sex anyway?

All: .........

David: What a f@*!ing stupid question to ask!

Corey: Well, they’re different, you can kiss them without being homosexual, the sex is good (mostly with the sexy ones), they have nice, soft...

David: Stop!

Corey: Why?

David: You don’t wanna give too much away, do you?

Corey: ...hmm, I guess not...point taken.

So their pretty, big deal.

Corey: 1) don’t you mean ‘they’re’, 2) It is a big deal.

That doesn't prove anything. If it did, then what did it prove other than the fact itself. So was the attraction only physical? No. If it was, why wouldn't he be having this problem over Asuka - who had been statistically proven to be the most attractive girl in school,

Corey: ...really?

as Kensuke and Toji's bulging wallets testified to the sales of her pictures.

David: Lucky bastards!

Maybe it was because Asuka was so unattainable.

Dim: Ahh, the ‘forbidden fruit’ idea.

In the entire time she had been there, no guy had ever gotten her to go out with him, except for when she went out with that med-student. And that was just as a favor to Hikari. Hikari again.

> What was it about her? She was more attainable than Asuka, more of a realistic possibility. But she wasn't available anymore. It was now her and Toji, a package deal.

David: $99.95.

So she wasn't really attainable at all. Back to this again. If it was about whoever couldn't be had, this whole problem would have just been appended to Asuka's large file. But it wasn't, so there was something else. But what?

All: Good question.

> Shinji was suddenly interrupted mid-thought when a pillow impacted with the back of his head. He turned over to see Asuka at the door of his room.

Corey: Bitch!

> "Get up moron. Misato's back and she's pissed."

Dim: What else is new?

> Great. More problems.

Cozza: More? The title should be ‘Shinji’s problems’.

> Shinji wandered into the kitchen and sat down in his customary spot beside Asuka.

Corey: Customary? You mean he wants to sit beside her.

Cozza: He may have only sat their because it was his favourite spot since he moved in there. It just so happens that Asuka had chosen the one next to it.

Corey: ...oh yeah.

> Across the table was an annoyed looking Misato. She apparently was about to get on about something, so Shinji did what he always did. He prepared his "yes" face with nodding at the appropriate points (whenever Misato's voice changed in tone).

Corey: Good plan.

Preparations being made, he drowned out any meaningful audial input by running one of his favorite songs through his head.

David: How will he know if she changed her tone?

He tried to go back to the problem of Hikari, but was suddenly interrupted as Misato slammed her palms down on the table and leaned across - towering over him.

> Opps. Forgot to keep nodding.

Corey: RUN!!!

Cozza: It obviously means ‘oops’.

> Misato: Shinji! Are you paying attention?

> Shinji (cowering): Yes ma'am.

> Asuka (snidely): Oh he's paying attention now. Now that he can look down your shirt. Pervert!

Corey: (Cartman) Er heh heough!

> Shinji: I was not!

> Asuka (turning on him): You were, just admit it. You sicko! Why can't we just commit you to some psycho ward somewhere and be done with it?

> Misato (angry): Because you'd be sent there first Asuka!

Corey: (Cartman) Er heh heough!

> (The two children shrink back under the oncoming verbal assault.)

> Misato: Don't try to get out of this by diverting attention to Shinji. This pertains to you both!

Cozza: Pertains?

Corey: Probably the same as ‘concerns’

How could you have skipped a harmonics test!?

Dim: That’s a good question.

> Asuka: What's it matter! I don't need to be there! The Invincible Shinji can take care of everything! Let him fight all the battles from now on.

> (Asuka had not yet been made aware of his falling ratio.)

David: Uh oh!

> Shinji (muttering): I've fought all of them up till now...

David: And all of a sudden, he stops. [finishes his can]

> Asuka: You little creep! You're pathetic! What would have you done without me? I've saved your butt since the Sixth Angel!

All (coughing): BULLSHIT!

And before I was here, you had to get help from Wonder Girl.

Corey: Not necessarily.

> Shinji: At least she's nice about it.

David: That’s true.

> Asuka: Oh! You'd like it if I just went away so you and the Zero could be alone wouldn't you!?

Cozza: Who wouldn’t?

> Shinji (evenly): Very much so.

David: Even Shinji does! Shows how much of a bitch Asuka is!

> Asuka: What!?

> Shinji: I never complained when it was just us. And I never asked for whatever help you claim to have given me.

Dim: No one did.

> (Misato stared dumbfounded at the scene before her. Normally, Shinji would take his evening abuse without protest and go back to his room. But tonight he was fighting back. Not so much with vigor as with venom - pure poison.)

David: Well, it is unusual.

> Shinji: You can go back to krautland for all I care.

Cozza: That’s Shinji talk for Germany, I take it...?

And you can take Unit 02 with you. We don't need a pilot who can't control herself. Next thing you know, she won't be able to control her EVA.

> Asuka: You little-

> Shinji: I'm sure we can find a replacement.

> Asuka: Now listen--

> Shinji: But good help is so hard to find, as you have so well proven.

> Asuka: Why you-

> Shiji: Not that we really need anyone besides Rei and myself anyway.

Corey: Dropped the ball! It’s ‘Shinji’.

Cozza: And he forgot to bold it, too.

> Asuka: But-

> Shinji: All you ever do is bitch about this and that. You bust my balls and everyone else's morale with your attitude. They're as sick of you as I am.

> Asuka: ---

> Shinji: You can go to your room and cry now if you want.

Corey: I don’t like what’s coming.

> There is a sudden blur of red hair as Asuka pounced on Shinji. They both fell backwards over his chair and rolled into the den area. Misato was quick to react, but not quick enough. There was a loud *smack* as Asuka's palm left a red print across Shinji's face.

David: OUCH!

> Misato approached from behind and restrained Asuka while trying to pull her off Shinji. She felt a thump as Asuka went limp for a second. Misato realized what had happened - Shinji had punched her in the stomach. Hard.

Corey: (Rove) WHAT THE...?

Dim: Oow.

> The girl completely transformed into a red-maned hellcat. She tried to break free of Misato, constantly clawing at Shinji with outstretched hands. Her grip slipping, Misato took a different tactic. Recalling her days in the security forces, Misato launched Asuka across the room onto the couch.

Cozza: That’s a good throw!

David: I could do better.

> Before the enraged girl could rise again, the major is on top of her, using the best arm lock she could manage. She turned to Shinji and barks a quick retreat order. Before moving, Shinji spoke.

> "Good night Asuka. Thanks for the lovely evening."

Dim: He was obviously sarcastic.

> The girl replied with an incoherent mix of sputter and scream. Misato shot him a look that conveyed the message well enough - get the hell out.

Corey [clasping his chest with his free hand (the other holding a can)]: Ow, I’m hit.

David: (Austin Powers) Ow! That really hurt! Who throws a look, honestly! You fight like a woman!

Dim: She is a woman.

David: Then it’s a good thing she fights like one.

> Shinji left the two for the security of his room.

Corey: I would, too

Plopping down onto the bed, he jammed the earphones into place and hit the play button - but not until making a prodigious adjustment to the volume settings.

> The music was so loud that his head hurt. But he'd rather have a headache than another sort of pain. Physical pain goes away, other pains just seem to linger. After a couple of ear-splittingly loud songs, he cut off the SDAT and sat up, removing the pieces from his throbbing ears. Hearing something strange coming from the kitchen, he got up and cracked his door open slightly. From down the hall, he could hear Misato and Asuka.

> Misato: What was all that about?

> Asuka: Why don't you ask Shinji? He started it!

Corey: (Colonal Clink) He did?

> Misato: Really? From where I was sitting, it looked you were the one that attacked first.

> Asuka: Well he provoked me.

> Misato: That's what I'm talking about.

> Asuka: How can you take his side?

> Misato: I'm not taking anyone's side. You provoked him and he fought back. You couldn't take what you're always dishing out and tried to fight him in a way you though he couldn't win at.

Dim: Well, she thought that anyway.

You're mad now because you realized that he beat you there too.

> Asuka: He did not beat me! I'm out of breath because you made me cry when you twisted my arm out of the socket! That's all!

Cozza: (fly) It’s a lie!

> (A feeble lie.)

Cozza: What, another one?

> Misato: Asuka, you just have to understand that you can't go around stepping on everybody else without expecting someone to do it to you one day. What goes around comes around, some way or another.

> (Asuka sniffed.)

Corey: Mbug up my noathe.

> Misato: Look, I'll talk to Shinji later. I want you two to try and make up, otherwise it'll just be harder to live and work together.

> Asuka: Forget it! I don't care what happens to him! I don't care if he gets swallowed whole by another Angel! I don't care if he's the greatest EVA pilot in the world! I don't care... if... if... he and... Rei... ---- I don't care!!!

Corey: ‘If he and Rei’? The rest, I could’ve shrugged at, but that worries me, somehow.

> Asuka got up and stormed towards her room. Shinji quickly ducked back into his, closing the door behind him. She slammed her door so hard that a couple of pictures in the hall fell off their nails.

> Shinji laid back on the bed. This time he didn't put the SDAT in his ears again. He just stared at the ceiling. His thoughts focused on Asuka's last, half-formed phrase.

> "I don't care... if... if... he and... Rei..."

> Was there jealousy? Obviously.

Cozza: (Cartman) Er heh heough!

But what about?

Corey: Of him and Rei, duh! I don’t know why, but I know it has to be that.

There really wasn't anything between Shinji in Rei - in the normal sense. They had a strange connection on some level, but nothing that anyone could be really jealous of. It wasn't a physical relationship. It wasn't a communicative relationship. It wasn't really anything noticeable to anyone. Except to someone who was looking for something to be jealous of.

> Was that it? Did Asuka have it in for him to such a degree that he couldn't be happy in any manner whatsoever? No, that couldn't be it. She never bothered him when he was with his friends, and he was happy then. What was it then?

> Shinji recalled Mana. He remembered how insane Asuka had acted throughout that entire ordeal. She was crazy with... envy? Could she be envious? Was that it? But if she was, what of? That other people had relationships but not her? Maybe. She didn't like to hear about Misato's dates with Kaji, but she didn't seem to mind hearing Hikari expounding the many virtues of Toji.

Corey: That’s because she doesn’t like Toji and is in love with Kaji. Idiot!

Hikari once again. What was it about her?

Dim: Who knows.

> Shinji stopped for a moment. He had heard a banging sound come from the kitchen. He left his room, carefully tiptoeing past Asuka's, and entered the kitchen. Apparently the evening had taken its toll on Misato.

> She sat slumped over the edge of the table, a half-finished beer can draining out its contents onto the table - apparently dropped from her grasp when she passed out. One and a half packs worth of crushed cans littered the floor and table around her. She snored somewhat, finally finding peace in sleep that couldn't be had in waking life.

Corey: That’s just like her.

> Shinji went into maid mode and cleaned up the mess around his caretaker. After tossing away the cans, he wiped up the spill and finished the job by draping a sheet over Misato. He walked back to his room, feeling oddly empty. It was like it was, nothing different. She makes a mess, he cleans it up.

Dim: It’s just the way he is.

He looked at Asuka's closed door. She gets mad and takes it out on him.

Corey: Usually.

> He returned to his room and laid back on the bed, thinking of Hikari.

Cozza: What, again?

> She does what? What does she do to him? Nothing really. All she is, is kind. All she does is be nice. She's nothing more than normal.

> And that was it.

David: It was?

> Shinji had found the reason. That's why he had been attracted to her. She had a fairly normal life. She wasn't a pilot like Asuka or Rei. She wasn't in charge like Misato. She had a happy family life with two loving sisters. She was... free. She didn't have the weight of the world's future looming over her.

David: That would be nice.

> That's what it was. A craving for a normal existence. A wish for a life less extraordinary. That's what Hikari was. A symbol for happiness and normalcy in life. Having solved the night's original problem, Shinji prepared to go to bed - trying to forget the new problems started that night.

> Later that night, Shinji lay in bed, trying to fall asleep. He jumped as there was a knock at his door.

David: (Shinji) I didn’t order any Pizza.

He hesitantly sat up and welcomed in the visitor. The door opened to reveal Asuka.

Corey: In clothes, hopefully.

She had obviously been crying for most of the night. Even in the little light provided by the moon through the window, he could see her eyes were red.

> Shinji: What is it Asuka?

> Asuka: Shinji... I... I... I just want to say...

> Shinji: Don't worry.

> Asuka: What?

> Shinji: I said, don't worry about it. Just forget about it.

Corey: Say you’re sorry, Shinji.

> (Shinji recalled his father's words about burying memories to survive. He now saw the wisdom in that. But Asuka apparently didn't share that viewpoint.)

> Asuka: No. I can't.

> Shinji: Why not?

> Asuka: It wouldn't... it wouldn't be right.

> Shinji: Why not?

> Asuka: Forgive and forget you know. I can't forget it until it's forgiven.

> Shinji: Why not?

> Asuka: Dammit Shinji, can't you say something besides 'why not'?

> Shinji: Like what?

Corey: (Homer - sarcastic) Oh, I don’t know!

> (Asuka broke. Her face split into a weak smile at Shinji's response. She bowed her head as she leaned harder against the doorframe, which creaked under the pressure. She looked back up, meeting his gaze.)

> Asuka: How about saying 'I forgive you'?

> Shinji: OK. I forgive you.

> Asuka (chiding): Idiot. Wait your turn.

> Shinji: Sorry.

David: There we go.

> Asuka: Now, Shinji. I'm sorry for what happened tonight. I shouldn't have said those things.

> Shinji: It's OK, Asuka. Really.

> Asuka: .....

> Shinji: I forgive you.

> Asuka: Thank you.

> (Asuka turned to leave. Before she has completely closed the door, he called her. She quickly opens the door and poked her head back in the room, seeming anxious to hear whatever he has to say.)

> Shinji: I'm sorry for hitting you.

Cozza: So you should be ... I think.

> (Asuka smiled devilishly for a moment.)

> Asuka: You call that a hit? My grandmother could do better.

All (coughing): Bullshit!

> (Shinji returned the mischievous grin.)

> Shinji: Have her over the next time we have a wrestling match. I'll show up the both of you.

Corey: (Willie) Ohh, good comeback.

> Asuka: Yea sure. I'll bet.

Dim: Missing an ‘h’, but oh well

> (The two laughed for a moment. After finishing, their smiles of mirth shift to smiles of understanding.)

> Asuka: Good night Shinji.

> Shinji: Good night Asuka.

David: Good night everybody.

> After she closed his door, Shinji listened closely to hear her door closing. With the satisfying click of the doorknob,

Corey: Um, it’s a sliding door.

> Shinji felt like something has happened that night. A closure of sorts, and an opening of sorts. One problem solved, one made. Another problem solved, an opportunity made. It had been a full evening in the apartment.

> Maybe there wouldn't ever be normalcy, but at least there can be happiness. With his last though for the night, Shinji closes his eyes and drifts off to sleep, dreaming happily.

David: (Skinner) Highly unusual.

> And somewhere in his dreams, Ruri waited for him.

Cozza: Who’s Ruri?

Corey: I have a feeling I know, but it wouldn’t make any sense.

> Notes: I went crazy with this one.

Corey: You could be just crazy.

I was working on the Hikari section of "Temptation of Tabris" when this little one-shot leaped into being.

Cozza: It just came out and grabbed me.

Just sort of a look into the psyche of Shinji and somewhat of Asuka (as if we haven't seen enough already). The timing would be immediately after the sixteenth episode, but before the seventeenth. For those of you who don't know, Ruri is from Martian Successor Nadesco

Corey: Thought so. One question: Why would Shinji think of Ruri – a character from another anime?

(think of Rei with an attitude,

Corey: I KNOW WHO RURI IS!!

David and Cozza: We didn’t.

Dim: I didn’t, but I do now, so I don’t care.

Ruri's favorite name for everybody is "baka").

Corey: Which is Japanese for ‘idiot’.

David: Why’d we need to know that.

Cozza: I don’t know.

Dim: Useless information that no-one needs to know about, but is there if anyone wishes to.

Everyone else:.........

Corey: ...yeah, that’s.. pretty much it.

Another short written under the influence of insomnia, thus the ending.

David: Poor guy.

Sorry to those depressive people who are upset by the happy ending,

Corey: No, I like those.

David: Me, too.

I figured there was enough angst in the middle of the story. And a sincere apology to any Germans offended in the reading of this fanfic.

David: (German) Ack, nein. ... (normal) what’s German for ‘F@#! off’?

> Extra note: Fifteen minutes after finishing this fanfic and going to bed, some jackass tripped the fire alarm in my dorm.

Corey: BASTARD!

I'm never gonna get any sleep!

Corey: (Joe Cooper) That sucks, dude.

[The fic ends]

Cozza: That’s it?

Voice: Yep.

Cozza: ...Woohoo.

Corey: I don’t know, that was pretty good.

David: I agree.

Dim: mm-hmm.

Voice: (tired) what did you think?

Corey: Crap!

Voice: (tired) what else is new?

Corey: I was kidding that time.

Voice: ...what?

Corey: It’s one of the best fics I’ve ever seen. If not the best.

David: It was excellent in some ways. Shinji fighting back? Who could’ve seen that comin’?

Corey: Not me, that’s for sure.

Cozza: It was short and sweet. And I mean that.

Dim: It was fairly good. Normal at some places, unusual in others. Compared to the series, I mean.

Voice: Wow, I’m surprised. I picked that up without seeing what it was...I’m glad you liked it... I guess.

[Everybody stands up. Anyone who hadn’t finished their can, quickly does so and they put all eight of them in the ‘recycle bin’, conveniently located in the kitchen. They all grab another from the esky and leave, Corey taking the esky with him and leaving the other pack in the fridge.]

Voice: Ooh, time to get a drink.

Corey:[comes back] Don’t even think about it

Voice: (Homer Simpson) Geeyahough!

[Corey leaves again]

Voice: ...I’ll just have to buy my own...if only I can find my way out of here. WHERE IS THAT DAMN LIGHT SWITCH!?!

*******************************************************************************************************************************

My site: www.geocities.com/SSJ2GohanSupreme

My e-mail: Coramaximus@hotmail.com

As for Ketheres ( or Mr Elyion), I wouldn’t have a clue so don’t bother trying to find him through me. You’ll have to find him/her yourself.

BTW:

Coke^® is a trademark of the Coca Cola Company, Pokémon™ is a Trademark of Nintendo; Gamefreak, Creatures Inc. and 4Kids Entertainment Productions; and Nintendo is a registered trademark of...well, Nintendo.

Note from Moi...er ME: Hey everyone. Happy new year (Forgive me for my lateness, I wrote the last one around Christmas.). I know the beginning is long, but I hope you like it anyway. A little different, a little the same, a little beverage consumption...and no-one ate the chips. Go figure.

BTW: You probably noticed a few fumbles at the beginning, well, they came into my head and I went with the flow. As for the rambling. Some of it was on purpose, some was accidental, I hope you don’t mind. Anything peculiar? E-mail me at the above e-mail address. OK? OK.

CRSinclair

C. Sinclair – Author, and Owner of

and its concept.

> The girl replied with an incoherent mix of sputter and scream. Misato shot him a look that conveyed the message well enough - get the hell out.

Corey [clasping his chest with his free hand (the other holding a can)]: Ow, I’m hit.

David: (Austin Powers) Ow! That really hurt! Who throws a look, honestly! You fight like a woman!

Dim: She is a woman.

David: Then it’s a good thing she fights like one.