Good evening…
Hello everyone,
I’m T.M.D, coming to you live (relatively) to bring you this fantastic…thing
that I’m about to bring you! That’s right, it’s time for another...
And what an MST it’s going to be! There’s gonna be action, mayhem...stuff... ok, I don’t know... but it’s going to be great, anyway (I hope)!
******************************************************************************************************************************
[The scene: A large … cinema, with a front door to the far back to the right. At the front is a large screen, standard with any cinema you care to go to. At the far back in the middle, there is a square hole with a projector pointing through that hole at the screen. Speakers are situated symmetrically around the room. In the middle lie several seats (normal to any cinema) set in several rows across the floor (which is slanted slightly downward towards the screen, by the way), leaving space for two evenly situated isles from the front to the back. A typical cinema … or is it?]
Voice: (singing) My bologna has a first name, it’s V-o-i-c-e. My bologna has a second name, it’s...um...
Seth: I-d-i-o-t!
Voice: Y--ehh--HEY!
Seth: You brought that on yourself, pal!
Voice: I’ll bring something on you, pal!
Seth: I’d like to see you try!
[Suddenly, a large weight with 1000kg weight falls from the ceiling and crashes through the floor, a foot in front of Seth]
...Uhh, you missed.
Voice: Never mind!
[Max enters, wearing a blue shirt with grey shorts and white shoes (and socks), and walks over to Seth, who’s wearing a white shirt and blue pants, with black shoes (and white socks)…hey, some people wear different clothes, sometimes, you know?]
Max: Seth, stop playing with the woman upstairs!
Voice: Y--ehh--HEY!
Max: Sorry, couldn’t resist.
Seth: At least we know it has a gender.
Voice: Oh, great...negative one to my mysteriousness score.
Max: ...your what?
Voice: ...plus one. Sweet.
?: Actually, they’re kinda sour.
Voice: ...um...no..….who are you, anyway?
[Standing at the door, holding a bag of sour…confectionery, at about 5’3” tall, with long brown hair, brown eyes, and slightly tanned skin, is a girl wearing…uh…a red shirt, a dark-red skirt, and white shoes (with white socks – gotta have socks)]
Seth: That would be my sister.
Voice: What?! ...hold on a sec...[ruffling paper sound]...ah, here we are...so...you’re Sarah Lee?
Sarah Lee: That’s SARA-Li!
Voice: ......my mistake...
Sarah Lee Sara-Li: Who is that, anyway?
Seth: Just the woman upstairs.
Voice: WOULD YOU CUT THAT OUT!?
Seth: ...ehh, I’ll think about it.
Max: In the meantime, why don’t we sit down and get this over with...then we can go overseas, fight a hoard of mutant soldiers, and defeat Cyber to save the world.
?: Don’t even joke about that
[They turn to face the door, to notice Dimitri standing there, same clothes he always wears (I did say some people)]
Max: Oh, sorry, I didn’t think you’d be here so soon.
Dim: I got here early. Big deal!
Seth: So, where’s your girlfriend?
Dim: (slightly annoyed) ...I’m guessing you’re referring to Jessica. She’s busy trying to convince you-know-who to get in here.
Seth: Ooh! I hate that guy! Doesn’t he realise that he’s just wasting time!
Max: I can only wish there was a way out of this.
Seth: Why don’t you help her out?
Dim: She told me not to.
Seth: Why?
Dim: I dunno…probably because I have the popcorn.
Max: Uhh…yeah…we’ll go with that…
Seth: I’ll take it, if it means you going out and bringing that ass in here.
Dim: It’s right behind me--oh, you mean him.
Seth: ……yeah.
Dim: ……very well.
[He gives the popcorn to Seth and Max and leaves. A few seconds later, he returns with Jessica and some other guy, trying his hardest to resist]
?: NO! I WON’T DO IT! THIS IS NOT WHAT I MEANT WHEN I SAID I’D MAKE IT UP TO YOU!
Dim: You don’t get a choice, Damian. Even if we got a choice, you wouldn’t.
Damian: Oh, come on! I did what I had to do! Besides, I joined your team…and I gave you my only copy of Bon Jovi’s Crush CD.
Dim: Well, that is a good CD…nevertheless, you’re going to do this with us and that’s final!
Damian: Alright, alright! I’ll do it. Just let me go!
Dim: …very well.
[Dim let’s Damian go.]
[Damian stands up. He stands 5’11”, and has black hair, brown eyes and tanned skin. He wears a white shirt, blue jeans, a black jacket, and grey shoes (with white socks, I guess, though it’s hard to tell.]
[Damian brushes himself off…then makes a sudden dash for the door. Unfortunately, the door closes and a locking mechanism is heard. He ends up running into it.]
Voice: Sorry, no dice!
Dim: What, not even a d6?
Voice: …shutup.
[Everybody takes a seat in one of the rows – Max, Seth, Sara-Li, Jessica, Dimitri and Damian, in that order from left to right…if your looking towards the back…yeah, whatever…]
Seth: Before we begin, who wants popcorn?
Damian: I’ll have some.
Seth: …anyone else?
[Damian starts fuming]
Max: I’ll have some [Takes some popcorn]
Seth: Take the whole lot.
Max: Nah, you can have it.
Seth: Ugh, fine!
Voice: Ok, now to get things started………
Seth: ……uh…ma’am?
Voice: Shutup! The damn thing just crashed. I’ll have to reboot. This could take a while.
Max: So, what do we do, in the meantime?
Damian: Let’s grab some chairs and throw them around!
Max: Nobody asked you!
Damian: Ahh, you guys blow.
Seth: Why don’t we grab some chairs and throw ‘em around?
Max: Sounds good!
Damian: Oh, you guys really blow!
Voice: Ah, forget this, I’ll just use the spare computer.
Dim: Why didn’t you use it before.
Voice: It’s only for emergencies, like this. Also, I don’t have any good fanfics on this, only bad ones.
Jessica: Good fanfics? I thought they were just a myth!
Voice: ………I’ll use it, then…[sounds of typing and a computer humming are heard]…ok, I guess this’ll have to do.
Seth: Again, before we begin, I’d like to point out that Pokemon Master is a fairly good fanfiction, thankyou!
Jessica: Well, I haven’t seen that one, ok?
Seth: Actually it’s two, so far.
Jessica: Ok, I haven’t seen those two!
Seth: ……better.
Dim: Not to mention the other good fics.
Jessica: Ok, there are good fanfics, are you happy!?
Dim: ……yes.
Jessica: …you can be a real pain in the butt, sometimes…
Dim: …I try.
[Jessica fumes]
Voice: Ok, I’ve got it. Here we go………nnn—
[The screen lights up and the fic begins]
--nnow.
>
Hi, my name is Nene. Nene Romanova.
Dim: What, another one with no title?
Seth: I dunno, it could be one of those ones that has an opening scene before the title stuff.
Voice: Actually, I read ahead and…there doesn’t seem to be one.
All but Sara-Li and Damian: AH, CRAP!
Voice: I told you this computer only had bad ones.
Jessica: Yeah, but there are few that aren’t bad.
Seth: Yeah, you should’ve said it only had really bad ones!
Voice: ……point taken…
I got a little story here to tell you. I was a Knight Saber once.
Max: Wait, you mean you’re not, anymore?
But that was a long time ago, back in Tokyo, when I was young.
Seth: Where, and how old, are you, now?
Bad mistakes, I made a few.
Damian: Haven’t we all? That’s why they put erasers on pencils.
Dim:
...nice try.
Damian: Bugger!
One was very bad in particular. So bad, it almost cost us Priss’s allegiance.
Sara-Li: Let me guess, you stole her boyfriend
[Everyone else looks at her.]
...it was just a guess.
Now here is some background info so you know how this whole thing happened (I’d hate to not give you the full story):
Dim: Just don’t go off-topic, ok?
When I wasn’t kicking boomer ass, I worked at the AD Police as a dispatcher. There was this guy who worked there, Leon McNichol, who had a crush on Priss.
Damian: SQUISH!
Jessica: Not that kind of crush!
Damian: ……it figures you’d ruin my fun.
I don’t know how Leon met Priss, but some how he did, you know?
Seth: No one knows how, and no one bothered to ask, so we’ll just say…a wizard did it.
I knew because he asked
me why I hung out at a club called Hot Legs after it closed. Turned out he saw
me there, but he was looking for Priss.
Max: (Leon) Hey, you, woman that looks like Priss…………have you seen her?
I thought Priss asked him out, then I called her, and judging by
the way she reacted, which was mad,
Dim: To put it mildly…
as usual, I thought
there was something going on. I was young and naïve,
Max: Not to mention wacky and immature.
Seth: What do you mean ‘was’?
so I thought it was cute
and kind of funny, Ms. I hate the AD Police going out with an AD Police
officer.
Dim: I don’t see what’s so funny about it.
I told everyone, Linna,
Mackey, Sylia, everyone I knew because I was a loud mouth.
Damian: And also grammatically challenged.
When I told Sylia that I would try to give them a push on the
back via E-mail, she got mad and said she’d get rid of me if I screwed up. On
the next mission, which followed shortly there after, I was upset, so I tried
to do better than I actually could at that point, and I screwed up big time.
But it was a giant bug monster that ate boomers, so I think anyone in my place
would have screwed up.
Jessica: [to Dim] Don’t. Say. Anything.
Dim: …ok--
Jessica: AH!
>
The ones above me, namely Priss and Sylia, were thinking about
getting rid of me. Priss was the one who really brought it up. Either it was
because she didn’t want me to get hurt or because I was digging through her
personal life.
Seth: Actually, it was because you were getting in the way and she didn’t want to have to look after you, all the time.
I think it was the
latter. Anyway, Priss and Sylia made this bet that would decide the fate of my
membership in the line up:
Max: *woo* what a gambler!
If I did real crappy on the next mission, Priss wins and I was gone.
Damian: And never seen again.
Seth: Uh…no.
Damian: Only because I said it.
Seth:…well, partially…
If I did better than Priss, then I could stay and Priss would have to do something for Sylia.
Sara-Li: And it better not be something stupid like wearing a dress, or I’m leaving.
Max and Seth: …uhh…well…um…
Sara-Li: ……you’re lucky I was kidding…
Voice: And it’s impossible. That vault-like door ain’t just a decoration, you know?
Sara-Li: Shutup.
My ass was really on the line and I didn’t even know it.
Dim: Hopefully, she meant it figuratively, because otherwise, it would be fairly obvious.
Jessica: And painful.
I mean, how was I supposed to outdo Priss?
Seth: Waiting contest!
Max: See who can run the fastest without a hardsuit!
Seth: See who’s the wackiest!
Max: See who can hack the fastest!
Seth: See who can hack!
Priss was the best of us. I didn’t even know about the bet until after I blew out that bug monster’s head by shooting my rail gun spikes through his mouth after it had shut down Priss and Linna’s suits and nearly eaten Sylia.
Jessica: And you screwed up, how?
On the way back to the mobile pit, Sylia told Linna and me about it all, and we all had a good chuckle when realized what Priss would have to do next.
Max: When who realised?
>
Sylia fancied herself a queen of fashion, and she knew beauty
when she saw it and what would look good on certain beauty. Sylia had always
been bugging Priss to wear something other than the leather biker clothes she
usually wore, and up to that point, Priss had ignored her, but now, Priss had
to wear something of Sylia’s choosing.
Seth: Not because she suddenly had a change of heart, but because she was literally forced to.
Sara-Li: This was the bet, wasn’t it?
Seth: Yes.
Sari-Li: What a bunch of bullshit!
Voice: What language!
Seth: I didn’t teach her that, I swear!
Voice: That’s probably where she got it from.
Seth: Wha--…that’s not funny…that’s just stupid…
For Priss, Sylia chose a pink dress with a
rose on its chest where the breast on a woman of Priss’s frame and build would
be.
Max: Because she could just tell.
Sara-Li: A wizard did it!
Max: Only I may say that!
Seth: But I said it.
Max: …I hate you all…
Damian: Same to you, buddy!
Max: What, you hate me, or you hate all of us?
Damian: ...the second one.
Dim: We hate you, too, pal.
Priss also had to have her long brown hair put up in a ponytail of
some kind and pink high heels.
Jessica: (sarcastic) God forbid!
And nicest of all, these pearl earrings. All
the while, Priss would be photographed and Sylia would put it up in the make
over of the month.
Seth: Which makes no sense.
Max: Unless it means that she’s going to put the pictures on somebody else.
>
We all had a good laugh.
Dim: (sarcastic) Yeah, I’m sure Priss’ sides were splitting the whole time…*cough*
I laughed so hard I got hiccups.
Max: 120 per minute, I presume.
It was fun to see the mighty Priss Asagiri
fall on her ass and pay for it.
Seth: With interest!
I even got to pull back on Priss’s cheeks
while Sylia took pictures.
Jessica: Just so you know, you weren’t allowed to do that.
Mackey didn’t laugh, but he had a big old
grin on his face. We would all get photos later, small, big, 8 X 10’s, the
works.
Seth: So I’m guessing that medium ones are part of the works, are they?
Max: (Photo shop person) Nope, the works includes just those three.
The only one who did not have a good time, of
course, was Priss.
Sara-Li: Because she’s a party pooper.
Seth: …that, and she had some kid playing with her face.
>
“Smile!” Sylia yelled.
>
“I am smiling,” said Priss through gritted teeth.
Jessica: (Priss) Well, Nene’s pulling at my mouth, but it has the same effect.
>
“You call that smiling?” Sylia joked.
Dim: (Priss) Yeah, what of it?
“Oh come on, you can smile more than that!”
>
“I can’t smile more than this,”
Dim: I know how you feel.
Jessica: Well, I can fix that [She puts her hands on either side of Dim’s face]
Dim: Jess, you’re cute, but piss off!
Jessica: …mm-ok, [she removes her hands from his face] but only because you called me cute.
Max and Seth: Ooooooooh!
Dim: Shuthef@#!up!
>
Priss groaned, muttering
something nasty under her breath.
Max: Which was also nasty.
“Unlike you, I’m not bursting at the seams
with cheerfulness.”
Sara-Li: (Priss) Also, the seams are bursting around the shoulders, here…
>
“Oh come on Priss! Enjoy it! You can laugh at yourself years
later!” encouraged Linna.
Jessica: (Priss) I’d rather I don’t recognise myself and end up throwing the photos away.
>
“Bullshit,” replied Priss.
>
“When I’m done, I think I’ll give some photos to your band
members,” Sylia laughed. “They’d love to see them.”
>
“No fucking way.” Priss protested.
Seth: HEY, THERE’S CHILDREN PRESENT!
Sara-Li: I’m not a child, Seth!
Seth: That’s what they want you to believe.
Sara-Li: …are you sure I’m related to you?
>
“Why not?” Sylia asked cheerfully. “You look beautiful for once.
That’s nothing to be ashamed of. I just think you should share it.”
>
“Bullshit.” Priss repeated. Priss was starting to get a little
agitated by this point, not that it took a whole lot to agitate her.
Damian: (Priss) There’s something on my shoe?! I’ll kill it!
Seth: Yeah, that was funny…NOT!
Damian: You’re mum.
Seth: [standing up]WHAT DID YOU SAY?!
Sara-Li: Seth, siddown!
Dim: Do what you’re little sister says, Seth.
Seth: [sitting down] Wait, was that an insult? That’s not like you.
Dim: (indifferent) Yes, it’s not like me, now shutup.
Up until now, she had been a fairly good
sport about things, but now her ability to endure the friendly humiliation we
were according her and be a good sport about losing the bet fading.
Dim: Or, it was.
>
“Calm down, Priss!” Linna laughed. “Just a joke!”
>
“Besides, a number of people will see this in fashion magazines
everywhere!” Sylia laughed. Priss said something under her breath again, but I
couldn’t hear it over all the laughter. “You look like a bridesmaid!” Sylia
suddenly laughed.
>
“I don’t want to look like some fucking bridesmaid.”
Damian: (Priss) I don’t want to look like I’m f@#!ing anything.
Seth: ‘ey, watch it!
Priss did look like a bridesmaid, and she
didn’t like it.
Max: I wouldn’t, either.
Sara-Li: But you’re a guy, you wouldn’t be one.
Max: Doesn’t mean I’d like it any more.
She didn’t like all that girly stuff.
Seth: Because she’s actually a guy, on the inside.
[Everyone else looks at him.]
...oh, come on, you know she is.
Sara-Li: I can’t be related to him. I must’ve followed the wrong boy home from school.
God knows why not.
Seth: God knows all!
Max: …ok, whoever thinks Seth is being an idiot, raise your hand.
[Everybody except Seth raises their hands]
…ok, that’s four of us.
Damian: (sarcastic) …oh waiter, I’d like to order, now…
“If anyone saw this fucking shit,” she protested, “I’d never be able to show my face at a nightclub again.”
Seth: (Priss) And they don’t have paper bags my size.
>
“Really, I’d think something like this would improve your
image.”
>
“That’s ‘cause you’re an idiot, Sylia,” said Priss.
Dim: (sarcastic) Ooh, childish insults. Very nice.
>
Then the flashes stopped coming from Sylia’s camera,
Max: Which had been taking photos, by itself.
Seth: A wizard did it.
Max: …how did I know you were going to say that?
and we knew it was over. “Oh no, we’re out of
film girls.
Damian: And commas, too.
I guess our photo shoot is over.”
Dim: (Nene) And that’s how we knew it was over, the end.
[Everybody else looks at him]
…I can dream, can’t I?
Seth: I thought you said we weren’t allowed to dream.
Dim: No, I didn’t.
Damian: No, he said I’m not allowed to.
Dim: No……but I will, now.
Linna and me
Sara-Li: That’s “Linna and I”.
Jessica: (Nene) Me, me, me, me, me! There’s no “I” in “me” ……waitasec…
whined we were having too much fun to stop now, even though it had
been about an hour and a half.
Damian: With or without the commas.
Priss didn’t mind it, though.
Seth: In fact, she was partying, now that the party was over.
>
“Thank you God,” she muttered. I laughed even harder when Priss
tried to stand up and walk and she nearly fell over. She was not very adept at
walking with high heels.
Seth: Not many are.
Sara-Li: Actually, I see a lot of women doing it, quite well.
Seth: They’re fakin’ it.
Sara-Li: What’s the difference.
Seth: Uh--...shutup!
Max: OWNED!
Seth: That “shutup” was for you, too, Max.
>
“What’s a matter, Priss?” I laughed. “High heels too much for
the big tough Knight Saber!”
Jessica: (Priss) You know, I just thought of a good place to stick ‘em!
>
Priss muttered something nasty as she reluctantly picked up her
skirt and tried to go to the dressing room. But Sylia caught her on the way
there and started messing with her ears.
>
“What the Hell are you doing?” Priss asked.
Seth: (Sylia) I’m trying to make you look like an elf.
[Everybody else looks at him]
Damian: Bored, huh?
Seth: Sh--...yeah, I’m bored.
>
“I’m taking your earrings out,” Sylia said. I could tell she was
smirking, even though I couldn’t see her face. “These aren’t like the hard suit
earrings, they’re much harder to take out. And since delicacy is not in your
vocabulary, I feel obligated to take these out myself and spare you the pain of
ripping your ears apart trying to do it yourself.”
Jessica: (Priss) No, that’s ok. If it means you not messing with my ears, I’m fine with it.
Personally, I think Sylia was just taking
advantage of the opportunity to mess with Priss. Sylia had laughed so much she
was crying by this point.
Sara-Li: No, that was too much eyeliner.
>
After Sylia took the earrings out, Priss tried to haul off
again, with Sylia still saying all this nice, friendly little things to give
comfort and at the same time, further torment the loser. “Next time we make a
bet Priss and I lose, I’ll wear some of that tight leather you adore so much,
okay?”
Seth: (Priss) No, you’ll like it!
Priss tried to ignore her. “You can keep the
dress if you like, Priss.”
>
“I wore the piece of shit. Ain’t that enough?” Priss asked in
her usual, nasty manner.
Seth: (Sylia) No, you must also sacrifice it to the clothing goddess, Angora!
Max: You know, Damian seems like a better person to sit beside than you, right now.
Damian: You
know, I’d be cheering, but that’s not saying much.
>
“No really, I mean that. You can have it. I won’t even charge
you for it. Consider it a professional-”
>
“Shut up!” Priss turned around and yelled in Sylia’s face.
>
“What? I’m just-” Sylia was acting all innocent as Priss cut her
off.
>
“You’re pushing me now. You’re just pushing me now stop it! Just
fucking stop it!” Something like this was bound to come out sooner or later.
Priss was really mad now, and yet even her anger seemed funny to us. I guess it
was her wearing the dress and looking all out of character. She eventually made
it to her dressing room, with having fallen over only once.
Dim: (sarcastic) I bet she loved that.
We were still laughing. Sylia was unfazed.
>
“Some people just can’t except charity or compliments,” Sylia
laughed. There we were, me, Linna, Sylia, all laughing like a bunch of high
school girls. Well, technically I was a high school girl, but I dropped out.
Max: And she still became a technician in the ADP.
Dim: You know some of us never got to go to school!
Seth: Hey, I’m sure to live my dream of working for the military, now!
Max: Not if I can help it!
“I just wish there was something more I could
do to further spread and share Priss’s long hidden, but now exposed beauty with
the world.”
Seth: You’re kinda sounding as if you want her to be a whore.
[His sister hits him over the head]
>
Henderson made us a fabulous dinner. It was around eleven
o’clock at night then.
Max: All of a sudden.
Seth: A--
Max: Don’t say it.
Seth: But it fits so well.
Damian: I’m just wondering: who has dinner at eleven pm?
[…]
…oh right, no one listens to me…
Mackey had to take his dinner to go, because he had to go help
Nigel with the suits. Sylia had invited Nigel to both the photo shoot and to
dinner, but he ignored both of her invitations. He ignored a lot of things, not
that it stopped us from enjoying out dinner.
Max: Whatever that is.
Seth: I think she meant “our”.
Damian: That, or they ate out...but that seems unlikely.
>
Mackey told me that he thought this whole bet thing was Sylia’s
way of telling Priss to stay away from Nigel, because Priss had been hanging
out at Nigel’s place a lot. I noticed that Sylia always had taken a shine to
Nigel, but I didn’t know that Priss liked Nigel too.
>
We were still laughing and making jokes about our triumph over
Priss. We were laughing so much it was amazing we could eat without choking
ourselves. But while we thought I triumph over Priss was funny as Hell,
Henderson did not. Henderson showed this really stern disapproval about what
Sylia made Priss do. You know, I really don’t Henderson did not approve of the
Knight Sabers in general, though normally he let that roll of his back.
Max: As well as a lot of incorrect words, apparently.
This little bet incident was an exception. I
guess the whole bet thing violated his sense of ethics and morals as how people
should treat each other. He cared a lot about Sylia, but he was disgusted by
what she had done and let her know how he felt. He did it silently, without
saying it aloud.
Seth: Like a ninja critic.
Henderson gave Sylia these really dirty
looks.
Damian: Do you look at your mother with that?
Jessica: His mother’s probably dead, by now.
Damian: Ugh! You wouldn’t have said that if he said it [points at Dim]
Jessica: …nah, I probably would have.
He didn’t have to say it. We all felt it.
I’ll never forget what Sylia said.
>
“Henderson, life is a road full of bumps. Every now and then,
you just have to take those bumps on the chin,” she said cheerfully.
Seth: It’s better than taking it up the a--
[His sister hits him again]
--ow!
>
“You would know, wouldn’t you, Mistress Sylia?” he asked in that
crusty old voice of his.
Seth: Crusty Like toast.
Sylia looked pained and angered by his words. Linna and me were
curious as to what he meant and we wouldn’t know until later. Much later.
Damian: You’re still too young to understand…I mean you keep saying “Lina and me”!
Henderson left and we resumed our joking and eating.
Max: And choking.
Henderson was a great cook. Even Nigel
couldn’t resist his cooking I’ll bet.
Seth: I wouldn’t - he’s pretty tough.
There we were, one big happy family, minus
one member.
Seth: (Homer Simpson) Nene, the dog doesn’t count as a kid.
Sara-Li (Nene (Marge)) No, Maggie…I mean Priss.
Seth: (Homer) Oh, yeah.
Sylia joked that if Priss didn’t want the
dress, Linna could have it, seeing as how Priss and Linna were almost the same
size, only an inch difference. (Priss was 5’8”; Linna was about 5’7”).
Jessica: That’s a whole frickin’ inch!
>
It was around midnight that our little bonding ended.
Sara-Li (Lina) Uhh...were kinda stuck, here...
Sylia said she would check on Nigel and
Mackey and see if Priss had finished changing yet or not. Even though Priss had
lost the bet, Sylia still owed her money for the job.
Seth: And the Pizza.
Sylia joked she might even pay Priss extra for being such a good sport over losing the bet (ignoring those last few minutes). I guess Priss took it a little bit better than Sylia thought she would have. Linna and me decided to go home. We both had work tomorrow.
Damian: You’ve got to work on that grammar, missy!
>
On our way out, we continued cracking jokes about our victory
over Priss.
Jessica: “Our”? I’m sorry, but if anyone was the victor, it’d be Nene.
Dim: And Sylia, since she won the bet.
Jessica: Yeah, but she didn’t do anything.
Dim: Well, other than getting Nene to do something that she was a pro at.
Jessica: ...shutup...
>
I always liked Linna.
She was the bi-sexual older sister I never had.
Max: Especially since she’s not.
Sara-Li: Well, duh, they’re just friends.
Max: ...I was referring to the bi-sexual part.
Sara-Li: ...oh...
>
She was bi, you know. A
lot of people thought she was simply gay, but she was actually bi. Despite
being bi, I still liked her (not that way, of course).
Max: For a smart person, you are totally stupid.
Jessica: That’s what you get for dropping out of school.
Max: Uh…we dropped out.
Jessica: Yeah, well…at least we had some education…unlike some stupid morons…
Dim: F@#! You, too!
Jessica: Oh, I didn’t mean y—I mean…I’m sorry!
Max: Now who’s the stupid moron?
Jessica: (deflated) Shutup…
She was kind of like an older sister to me. Sylia told us that
Priss had had a hard time getting the dress on as she was not educated in
wearing the clothes of a lady, and that’s why she would check to see if she was
still there. We laughed at Sylia for being so silly.
Seth: We laugh at you for the same reason.
Damian: Actually we haven’t laughed at all.
Seth: Well…we would...laugh at her, rather than Sylia.
Damian: True...hey, wait, why aren’t you ignoring me?
Seth: Ehh, that got old.
Damian: You mean it was a joke?
Seth: [shrugs] Nn-nn-nngh, can’t remember.
Priss was long gone by then, back at that run
down trailer she called a home, brooding, smarting,
Seth: Dumbening…oh wait, that’s not a word…
suffering, healing, and making sense out of
the friendly humiliation she had endured that night. While we were talking, I
got this idea, an idea that would later go down in the long, sad history of bad
ideas.
Seth: Like the giant toaster from hell!
Max: Or the zombie bread box.
>
“Hey Linna,” I said, “Remember Leon?”
Seth: The guy that pretended to be Michael Jackson?
>
“The ADP cop you told me about? The guy who you said had a thing
for Priss? What about him?”
Sara-Li: (Nene)
Nothing, I just wanted to know if you remembered him.
>
“How do you think he’d like a picture of Priss in that pink
bridesmaid dress?” I asked.
Jessica: You’ll have a hard time convincing him that it’s her.
I don’t know how I came up with the idea. I must have been drunk.
Damian: Or just stupid.
Linna got serious and gave me this look. This doubting, forlorn
look with a small smile grafted on.
>
“You really are just a simple creature, aren’t you?” she asked.
Seth: I agree with that.
Max: Me, too.
>
“Huh?”
>
“Why do you want to go do something stupid like that? You know
that it’ll just make Priss and Sylia mad,” Linna explained. “And you don’t want
them to get mad at you again, do you?”
>
“Who says they’re gonna find out?” I asked.
Seth: Oh, you just know they are.
>
“They’ll find out, one way or another.” Linna gave me that I
know what’s best look that only an older sister (and maybe a mother) can give.
Jessica: Of course a mother can - she would’ve passed it down to the older sister.
>
“Come on Nene, you know
this is something that’s just suppose to be for us Knight Sabers.”
>
“So? I’m doing what Sylia said we should do: share Priss’s long
hidden beauty with the world!”
>
“Nene, I think Sylia was just kidding.”
Sara-Li: Maybe, maybe not. I’m pretty sure that’s definitely not what she meant, though.
>
“Yeah, you think that, but deep down, we both know she wants to
do it. Come on, we both know it,”
Dim: No, you don’t.
I protested,
honestly thinking that Sylia was serious. I must have been drunk or something.
Seth: Why does she keep saying that?
>
“What’s the whole point, Nene? We busted Priss’s chops, we had
our fun, but the game’s over now.”
Jessica: (Lina) And no, you can’t start a new game.
>
“Cause Leon works harder than anyone else in the AD Police, so
he deserves to have something to wet his appetite and keep him company on those
cold, lonely nights when there’s no one by his side!” I said cheerfully.
Seth: Like a beer and a blanket.
If only Leon had been there to hear me. He
would have died laughing.
Jessica: You know, I’ve never heard of anyone dying due to laughing.
Dim: What if they choke on something?
Jessica: …you would say something like that, wouldn’t you?
Dim: I just did.
>
“Nene, you’re not listening to me. The party is over.”
Seth: Aww, they left all that alcohol, too…
Linna grabbed me by my shoulders and looked
me right in the eye so I couldn’t ignore her gaze.
Max: You are being hypnotised!
“You know for a fact that Priss hates the AD
Police.
Seth: She has an “I hate the AD Police” poster on her wall.
Max: She also has a bumper sticker on her Caravan…truck…thing…
She hates cops in and authority figures in
general.
Seth: Well, that made...huh?
Her face twists with hatred at the mere
mention of their name.
Max: Like a
Twistie...of hatred!
Doesn’t say something to you?
Seth: (Nene) No, but I have been hearing things a lot, lately.
Okay, doesn’t that mean something to you?”
Seth: Oh, she’s good.
>
“Not really, except that she’s got a real hang up with
authority.”
Sara-Li: That’s enough reason not to do it, if you ask me.
I summoned up all my courage and sway power
at this point. “It’s like Sylia said, life is a road full of bumps, and
sometimes, you just have to take those bumps on the chin. And Priss is all
about that. Besides, even if Priss does find out, which she won’t, in a couple
of days, I’m sure she’d just forgive and forget.”
Damian: I thought you knew her better than that.
>
“Nene, promise me you will not go ahead with this.” Linna gave
me this really stern, older sister look again.
>
“Oh Linna…”
>
“Promise me.”
Seth: (Homer) Do it...! [shakes fist]
>
I stared into her eyes for a few moments, and I saw she would
not accept a no. “Okay. I promise.”
Jessica: (Nene) I didn’t really, but it was the only way to shut her up.
>
“Raise your right hand,” she said. I raised my hand. “Repeat
after me: I, Nene Romanova,”
Max and Seth: [With right hands raised] I Nene Romanova...
>
“I, Nene Romanova,”
>
“Promise to be a good, considerate friend,”
Max and Seth:
[With right hands raised] …promise to be a good, considerate friend…
>
“Promise to be a good, considerate friend,”
>
“By respecting my other friend’s personal life,”
Max and Seth:
[With right hands raised] …by respecting my other friend’s personal life…
>
“By respecting my other friend’s personal life,” I felt like a
kid memorizing the pledge or something.
Damian: What pledge? Do they even have one of those in Japan?
>
“And not play matchmaker between her and the roughneck cop.”
Max and Seth:
[With right hands raised] …and not play matchmaker between her and the
roughneck cop…
That last part made me laugh.
Damian: Sure...I mean “matchmaker between”?
“Well, come on, say it. Say it.”
Seth: What, again?
Dim: Shut up,
over there!
>
“And not play matchmaker between her and the roughneck cop.” I
managed not to laugh too much.
>
Linna smiled. “Good. I feel better about you already.”
Sara-Li: Doesn’t take much to make you feel better about someone, does it?
Seth: Probably, but that was quite a lot to ask for.
Sara-Li: I guess...
>
Now don’t get the idea that we hated Priss or something along
those lines. We loved Priss (not that way, of course, at least not me and
Sylia).
Damian: I wish she’d stop saying things like that.
Hell, we did everything we knew how to be
friends with her. The problem was that she didn’t want us to become her
friends. Priss was like that. She did not make new friends easy.
Jessica: Now, who does that remind me of?
Dim: ...Corey?
Jessica: ...well, yeah, him too...
She may have lost some other friends along
the line, but I didn’t know.
Damian: You don’t know a lot, do you?
Max: She probably knows more than you.
Damian: How can you be so sure?
[Max shrugs]
And after awhile, her top dog attitude got on our nerves, and
Sylia, obviously, thought it needed deflating.
Seth: POP!
Sara-Li: Oops, too hard.
Now in all fairness, Sylia had an ego all her
own, but she was nice to us, so it really didn’t matter.
Damian: Maybe to you, but what about the people she’s stepped on, on her way to the top...literally or otherwise.
>
It was about a half hour after midnight when we went outside and
stepped on something that felt foreign on the ground.
Seth: What’s Corey doing there?
Max: And why’s he lying on the ground?
Damian: Probably drunk from all the sake.
Seth and Max: Oh yeah.
We looked down and almost didn’t recognize it
at first.
Seth: Did it have a funny backpack with it?
We looked closer, and saw what it was. It was
the pink dress Sylia made Priss wear, or at least what was left of it.
Seth: So that’s a “no”, then?
It was torn up in the sleeves, the skirt,
chest, just about everywhere. Priss didn’t do that by accident, those tear
marks were on purpose.
Max: There were
knife cuts.
We also noticed that there were some big ass tire tracks all over
it.
Damian: And what, exactly, is an “ass tire”...wait, what’s a “tire”?
Priss had run it over with her bike a couple of times and left back here for Sylia to find in the morning when her customers came. We also noticed a bunch of spit marks.
Seth: Actually, it’s bird poo.
Finally, we saw that the rose was gone.
Sara-Li: (Priss) So I like roses. Big deal!
>
“Sore loser,” I pouted, trying to release the immediate anger
that arose in me. Linna had another word to describe her reaction towards
Priss.
>
“Bitch.”
Max: Ooh, what language!
She looked right at me when she said it,
Seth: So...is she calling Priss a bitch, or Nene?
using this defiled dress as an example,
another reason why I should not try to give one of the photos to be to Leon.
>
We should have known that Priss would pull something like this.
This was her revenge, the first step in her path towards rebuilding her tough
girl image,
Damian: Oh, it’s always about image with you people, isn’t it?
by defiling Sylia’s beautiful dress for no good reason other than Sylia made her wear it for one lousy hour and made her look beautiful in it.
Dim: Matter of opinion, really.
All because she lost a bet and had to pay the
price for it.
Max: Plus taxes
This was Priss’s little way of saying screw
you, fuck you, damn you, go to Hell, burn in Hell without having to actually
say it.
Seth: Which is quite remarkable, if you ask me.
Max: Saves your breath, too...especially when you don’t say “and”, at least once.
What was really sad was that the dress
actually did look good on Priss. I’m not just saying that,
Seth: Sure you are.
the dress looked wonderful on her. Was
wearing the dress really so bad? I wondered. I suppose Priss had a right to
feel agitated, but that didn’t exactly give her the right to go around tearing
up other peoples’ dresses.
Damian: Didn’t Sylia say she could keep it? It’s hers, now...or was...
Linna picked the dress up, which was far
beyond repair, and it nearly came apart as she tried to fold it up, and took it
back inside to give it to Sylia. I followed her, not wanting her to be alone
when she had to face Sylia with the bad news.
Seth: (Anchorman) Our top story today, the Prime Minister of Azkaban...wait, sorry, can I try that again?
>
Conveniently for us, Sylia came up from the pit in the elevator.
Great, now we can skip the plank walking and dive right into the mouth of the
shark I thought.
Damian: Well, you’ve obviously skipped a comma…
Sylia was smiling bright and cheerful as ever.
Jessica: I guess she can’t see the dress from where she’s standing.
She almost looked like Judy Garland from
Wizard Of Oz.
All: Who?
“Linna, Nene! It’s good that you’re still
here! You won’t believe this! Priss actually took my dress with her! This is
too good to be true!”
Sara-Li: You don’t know how right you are...
>
“Um, Sylia, about the dress.” God, I could tell it was painful
for Linna to have to be the one to give Sylia the bad news. She held out what
was left of the dress for her to see and unfolded what was left of it to
unfold.
Max: Which was about the size of an A3 piece of paper.
>
“Huh?” Suddenly, Sylia’s face crumpled. No longer was she the
jolly, cheerfully innocent and happy young woman of hours earlier, but now, she
looked like a sad, heart broken child who had just found that her favorite toy
had been broken.
Seth: It’s kind of amazing how quickly her mood changed.
Tears started brimming in Sylia’s silver
eyes. Well, silver with a dash of purple and blue thrown in for good measure.
Max: By God.
She started crying as she took the defiled
remnants of her once beautiful pink dress from Linna and held it in her arms.
Tears streaked down her cheeks and started landing softly on the dress.
Damian: Well, that’s not going to help the dress.
Jessica: Oh, shut up, Damian.
Damian: What?!
Jessica: It’s a bit late to be worrying about the condition of the dress. Besides, she’s allowed to, in this circumstance.
Damian: Look, I’d argue with you, but I just don’t care.
Jessica: See, that’s how you’re different. Now, Dim, here, wouldn’t say things like that.
Everyone else: Sure he would.
Dim: ...I mean “sure I would.”
Jessica: [To Dim] How could you be so mean? [Gets all teary-eyed.]
Dim: ...*sigh*... [Hugs Jessica] (hesitant) I’m sorry.
Max: HE HUGS!!
[Everyone else looks at him.]
...I guess it doesn’t work with that...oh well...
>
“I’m sorry, Sylia,” said Linna. “Priss had no right to do this
to you.”
>
“Yeah, you oughta charge her for it!” I said, half kidding,
trying to sound funny to help make Sylia feel better.
Damian: It’s not gonna work.
>
“I’d like to be alone, if you don’t mind,” Sylia sniffled. Linna
and I turned away from and walked away.
Seth: I’m guessing that they turned away from Sylia, there.
Pride was a
terrible thing to waste.
Max: “Terrible” is right – it’s a sin!
Our once triumphant night had been turned to
pain and sadness because one person could not accept defeat. A beautiful
moment, a beautiful night, and a beautiful dress, destroyed forever by one
lousy bitch who just couldn’t take a joke.
Dim: [Still hugging Jessica] You’d do the same thing in her shoes. I mean it’s one thing to gloat, but you all just took it way too far
>
No boomers went rogue for the next week and a half.
Sara-Li: How convenient.
I didn’t talk to Priss at all during that
time. None of us did, either because Priss had isolated herself, or because we
were all to mad to bother with it.
Damian: I bet you were too mad, too.
At the midpoint of the second week that
followed,
Max: About Wednesday...
I opened up my mailbox and there were my set
of the photos. Suddenly, I felt a rush of joy and satisfaction surge through
me. I laughed at the photos and I thought back on the good time I had had that
night. I decided to ignore my promise to Linna and give Leon a photo anyway.
Jessica: Not that he’ll recognise the person in it.
I had refined my plan of course. I would not
let Leon keep the photograph; I would just let him look at it for a minute or
two to see how he would react. I was really just out to mess with him. I didn’t
even take into consideration what I would do if he wanted the picture. I only
wished I could think of some way to get back at Priss for ruining Sylia’s
dress.
Seth: You just know that this is going to come back and bite her in the ass.
>
Before I left for work, I got an e-mail from Sylia telling me to
come down to the store to train in the simulator after work. At work, I decided
I would need a lift, and made a reluctant E-mail to Priss on my computer. Using
the PC for personal use was against the rules, so I had to be quick and quiet,
lest I be caught. When I got Priss on the other line,
Max: The other line of an email?
she was back to looking like her old self
again, hair with split ends, no make up, usual, deadpan face on. “What?”
>
“Hey Priss, Sylia asked me to come to the store later to train
in the simulator. Do you think you could swing by after work and give me a
lift?”
Sara-Li: (Priss, flat) No.
>
Priss didn’t say
anything. “Ah come on Priss, its been a week and a half!”
Sara-Li: (Priss, a bit agitated) I said NO!
>
“Maybe.”
Sara-Li: What?
Seth: Well, that was unexpected.
>
Priss was about to cut
the line, but then I got the lame brain idea to bring up the subject of the
photos and the dress.
>
“You tore up Sylia’s dress! You made her cry!”
>
“You’re breaking my heart.”
Jessica: (Priss) Oh, wait, I’m sitting on something fragile.
>
“You should apologize to her!”
Seth: (Priss (Homer)) Nah!
>
“Plenty more dresses where that one came from Nene. I’m sure
Sylia can afford it and buy another one. Knowing her she’s probably already
bought more just like it.”
>
“What you did was wrong!”
>
“Hey, she said I could have it and do what I wanted with it.
Damian: Told ya.
She didn’t specify what I could and couldn’t
do with it.” Priss held a calm demeanor, but I seem to recall she had grin
slowly growing on her face.
>
I growled at her, and then my mind shifted towards more pleasant
thoughts.
>
“Hey Priss, guess what came in the mail today!”
>
“A million dollars.”
Sara-Li: (Nene) Yeah, I wish.
Jessica: (Nene) I wouldn’t tell you if it was.
>
“No, silly, your photos!”
>
“Whoopdee shit, Nene.”
Seth: That’s a new one.
>
“They came out real good! You wanna see one?”
>
“No Nene. I was there, I don’t have to see it.”
>
“You should, they-”
>
“I’m sure I look perfectly ugly, hideous and repulsive.”
Damian: I wouldn’t go that far. I’d just say you looked out of character.
>
“No you don’t! I think you came out looking pretty!” I was about
to say more, but Priss cut me off.
>
“And I don’t give a damn to what you think! Fuck you and your
goddamn photos!”
Everyone but Dim: *GASP*
Then Priss cut the line. I was unfazed. I was used to Priss’s hair
trigger temper by now. Her exploding for any old reason was common to me now.
>
“Jeez, what a grouch.” Now this is where I made my mistake.
Damian: Other than spelling and grammar errors...
Judging by Priss’s anger, I thought she
wasn’t going to pick me up. So I figured today was as good a time as any to
give a photo to Leon.
Seth: But she will and it isn’t.
>
After my shift ended, which was in the evening,
Jessica: (Nene) No early morning shifts for me.
I asked around for where Leon was. Leon’s
brainy partner, Daley, said he was taking his break outside, then he joked that
Leon didn’t go for youngsters, which is funny, since Priss was only a year
older than I was then (I was 18, Priss was 19). I liked Daley, he was cute, but
I liked Leon too.
Jessica: You have a funny way of showing it.
>
However, Leon, to say the least, did not like me very much.
Everyone else was cool with me, but Leon hated me.
Dim: (sarcastic) Gee, I wonder why...
I mean he just hated me, he could not stand
me. He probably hated my guts for teasing him so often, but I actually liked
him. It was friendly teasing, not the really prejudice teasing. Some people
just couldn’t take jokes.
Sara-Li: Like Priss, for example.
Every now and then though, he would turn the
tables, and more often then not, he tried to act nice to me so that I would do
him a favor, namely hacking and extracting restricted data. He didn’t know much
about working computers.
>
I went outside and started looking around for him. He couldn’t
have gone far, he had to go on duty later, and with his size and build, he
shouldn’t have been too hard to find. I looked around, and then I saw him. He
was sprawled out on a bench by the curb with a half smoked cigarette in his
mouth and empty coffee cup on the ground rolling away from his right hand.
Damian: Why’s it not an empty coffee cup, huh? What makes it so special?
Silly Leon, I thought. I waltzed over there
and tapped on his forehead. “Wakey wakey!” I whispered in his ear. He ignored
me. Leon was asleep. I shook him a little bit more to wake him up. “Rise and
shine!”
>
Eventually, Leon opened his eyes and turned his head to look at
me and almost as soon as he saw me, he shut his eyes and rolled his head in the
opposite direction of my face like I was Medusa or something. “Go away,” he
said in a groggily voice.
Damian: For many men, her face would be a nice thing to see, first thing in the morning. Not Leon, though...not that I blame him...
>
“I thought you were suppose to be quitting, Mr. Leon Noodle!”
Leon Noodle. That was my latest nickname for him.
Max: The one before “Leon the Peon” I think.
He hated it, of course. He hated all my
nicknames for him. I used to get such a kick out of` watching him get mad over
nothing.
Damian: Like “Stupid Leon Garbage Face”. No, wait, I’m thinking Lisa. Honest mistake, dude.
“Have you ever seen a noodle
shove a knuckle cigarette sandwich up somebody’s nose?”
Max: No, but it’d be pretty funny...whichever kind of “Knuckle Sandwich” you could refer to.
He wouldn’t have really hit me, he never did. Sometimes he looked
like he really wanted to hit me, to just grab me by the throat and ring the
life out of me, but he never did. Beating up a little 18-year-old girl wasn’t
tough or macho or cool. Of course, beating up other employees was an offense
punishable by suspension from duty or being fired, so that helped me out a lot.
Max: Darn tootin’!
>
“I got a present for you!” I giggled.
>
“Whatever it is, I don’t want it,” Leon said, still kind of groggy.
Seth: (Leon) Especially if it’s anything like that last “surprise” you gave me.
>
“Oh yes you do!” I insisted.
>
“No I don’t.” Leon protested. “I don’t feel like a present.”
>
“Yes you do!” I insisted again.
>
“No I don’t.” Leon protested again. “Go give it to Daley.”
Seth: (Leon) He likes gifts from any young girls, even annoying ones.
>
“Yes you do!” I said for the third time. By this point, I was
starting to get on Leon’s nerves.
Seth: (Leon) Don’t you tell me what I do and do not want!
He looked at his watch.
>
“Isn’t your shift over?” he asked. “Get out of here, Nene. Go
home.”
>
“Not until you take my present!”
>
Leon finally looked at me, very tired indeed. “If I take your
stupid present, will you please go away?”
>
“Mmm-hmm!” I smiled.
>
“Oh alright.” Leon swung his legs over, stood up, stretched and
cracked his spine.
Dim: You can tell how annoying someone is by how soon someone gives in to their demands, just so they’ll go away.
Good lord he was tall. He stood head and shoulders above everyone
in the whole AD Police Department. Most of the guys heads barely came up to his
shoulders. My head barely reached his waist. He was really built too. He worked
out, he must have weighed about 240 pounds. I don’t quite remember how tall he
was. A little over 6’4”. Yeah, I seem to remember he said something like that
or I read that in his file while perusing the ADP files to delete Knight Saber
reports. He was of Scottish blood, I think.
Max: Which is kinda obvious, considering his last name’s “McNichol”.
I always thought he kind of looked like Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Okay, I thought he looked a lot like Arnold Schwarzenegger. He had the same
exact haircut, wore a leather jacket, had a motorcycle and had access to really
big guns.
Seth: Yeah, but they have different coloured hair.
All he needed was a pair of slick, cool shades (sunglasses) and he
would have looked just like the Terminator himself. Having the song “BAD TO THE
BONE” playing in the background would have helped too.
>
“So what’s the big present that couldn’t wait to Christmas?”
Seth: (whining) It’s so far away…
Sara-Li: Do Japanese people even celebrate Christmas?
[Seth shrugs]
Smiling wide, I
handed him one of Sylia’s photos. It was a plain shot, just Priss sitting on
the chair in the dress. Leon looked at for a second. Then he gave me this What
the Hell Is This look, and handed the photo right back to me. Leon said, “I
don’t care how nice she looks in a dress, I’m not going out with your sister.”
Jessica: They look nothing alike.
>
Of course, I didn’t have a sister and he knew that. That was
just his smart-ass response because he didn’t recognize Priss. Suddenly, I felt
compelled to try and get him to see what he was not seeing. “That’s Priss, you
big idiot!” I screamed in his face, shoving the photo back in his hand. I must
have lost my mind.
Seth: We’re still trying to figure out exactly when that was.
>
That What the Hell look came back. “Are you high?” he asked.
Leon looked at the photo again, closer this time, and said, “I don’t believe
you.”
Jessica: HAH! I told you.
>
“It is her! I was there!” I handed him a close up photo of
Priss, followed by the two with me in it, the ones where I pulled back on her
cheeks and made her blush.
>
“I still don’t believe you,” he said flatly. “This girl doesn’t
look like Priss. The dress, the background, the whole photo. Its-I don’t know.
Its just too clean, too dainty, too snobby and stuck up to be Priss.”
Seth: (Leon)
Judging by what I’ve seen in her data files.
>
He rubbed his eyes.
“Basically, the photo says ‘Look at me, I’m so pretty’. I may not know Priss
very well, but I’m pretty sure that she’s not the snobby, gaze upon my beauty
type.”
Max: She’s more of the seclusive, get the f@#! away from me type.
>
“But it is her!” I screamed defiantly.
>
“How do I know? These could be fakes.”
>
“They’re not fake! They’re real! They’re real! They’re real!
They’re real, you hulking immigrant!”
Seth: (Leon) My father was an Immigrant!
>
“You are one sad, strange, sorry little girl, you know that?”
>
I must have looked like a little kid screaming at her daddy for
not buying her that little pony she wanted on her birthday. I don’t know why I
didn’t just cut it and run. I should have just taken back the photos, laughed,
treated it like a joke, and left. I didn’t give him the photos because I
thought that he and Priss were destined to be a couple (though they would have
made a cute couple, I thought)
Damian: “Though”? They’re both positive. You don’t use “though” if they’re the same opinion. Same goes with “however”.
Max: What?
Damian: Well, she basically said they would have made a good couple, though they would have mad a cute couple. One has to oppose the other, otherwise it’s pointless. They can’t be synonymous.
Max: I see.
Damian: It was hard to explain.
Max: I noticed.
Damian: Shutup.
, but more so to
test Leon to see how he would react. Somehow, he just didn’t seem to recognize
Priss. Maybe it was because of the dress, which was so out of character for
someone of her caliber, or maybe it was the make up, or the ponytail.
Jessica: Or maybe all of it, together.
It was probably the dress. He obviously
didn’t see Priss as the dress up type. Who can say?
Dim: I dunno...him?
Despite it, I was
determined to prove to him that it was Priss, so I kept insisting that it was
she, and I wasn’t about to leave until he believed me. I must have been high.
Seth: No, you weren’t high, you weren’t drunk, you…were…STUPID!
Max: You’d know all about that, wouldn’t you?
Seth: Shutup.
>
“These really aren’t that good anyway,” he said. “I hate to say
they’re ugly, but they’re ugly.”
Max: (Leon) Yep, I see a finger.
>
“What?” I asked. “What the Hell’s the matter with you! How can
you fail to see the beauty, the effort? The-”
>
“I don’t like pink.”
Seth: [gasps] ...wait...what’s so surprising about that?
>
“What?”
>
“I don’t pink,” he repeated.
Max: Of course not. First you must know what it is, then you must know how, then you can do it.
Seth: Or, you could add “like” and prevent any unnecessary effort.
Max: You would take the easy way, wouldn’t you?
Seth: Again, shutup!
>
“What do you mean you don’t like pink? How can you not like
pink? What’s wrong with you?”
Seth: (Leon) I’m a guy. Not a lot of guys do like pink.
>
“I just don’t. Never have, never will, not even on a lady. I am
a guy, after all. Besides, if Priss had to wear a dress for reasons I don’t
even want to think about, why in the hell would she pick pink?
Sara-Li: To screw with people.
Seth: ...and you say we’re not related.
Max: Hey, that was sparkly clean compared to some of your crap.
Seth: Shutup!
Pink just wouldn’t look right on her. A black
dress or a navy blue dress, I could see that. White or red, Hmm, maybe. But
definitely not pink. A pink dress would make her look like an ugly piece of
gutter trash chicken shit.
Jessica: I’m sorry, but I fail to see how.
But I didn’t tell you that. And why should I
believe you?” he asked. Leon had every right to think I was just bullshitting
him. I had teased him a lot so looking back at it it’s understandable that he
would think I was just trying to play a joke on him to make him look the fool.
“And even if it is Priss, why in Hell would she let you give something like
this to me?”
>
Leon had me there. It occurred to me that Priss obviously did
not like him much, and even though she knew me, he doubted Priss would let me
do something like this. “She-she…” I stuttered for a minute, fumbling for an
answer. “She asked me to give it to you! No, she told me to! She threatened to
kill me if I didn’t!” That was a dumb thing to say.
Damian: Proving, once again, that she’s stupid.
>
“Uh-huh. Fat chance,” Leon scoffed. But in his eyes, I saw a
faint glimmer of… I want to say hope, but that’s not the right word. Longing.
In his eyes, I saw something that said deep down, in the deepest reaches of his
heart’s domain, he wanted to believe me, but just couldn’t. I had my reaction:
He didn’t like the photos and he didn’t want them. I should have just taken
them back and left. But no, I had to stay there and get him to believe me.
>
That’s when I heard a familiar sound coming from my left.
Damian: Someone saying, “You’re an idiot!” or something similar, no doubt.
It was a motorcycle sound.
Damien: Or, it could be Priss’ motorcycle...which is much worse.
Dim: Only for Nene. I’m going to enjoy this...
It got louder as
it got closer, but at the same time, it slowed down as well. I looked over at
my left, and I saw a red figure in the distance getting bigger as it came at
me. It was Priss, coming to pick me up from work to give me a lift down to
Sylia’s after all. “Oh shit,” I muttered. “Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit,
oh shit!” Just before Priss pulled up to the curve,
Sara-Li: Curve, curb, same diff.
I started frantically yanking at Leon’s
hands, trying to pry my pictures out his big hands and shove them into my vest
pockets and out of sight before Priss got there. I fell over trying to yank
them back, I was in such a rush.
>
Priss pulled up to the curve and put her left leg down to
support the weight of her bike while she waited for me. “Come on Nene, quit
playing around. Oh crap,” that’s when Priss noticed that Leon was there with
me. Again, at that point, she did not like him very much. Leon, however,
atypically, just tried to ignore her by directing his eyes up at the sky. Priss
bent down to help me pick up the photos, and I immediately tried to scramble it
all away from her before she saw it.
>
“Get away!” I yelled. “Just get away from me!”
>
“Nene, what is the matter with you? I’m just-” then she stopped
cold after picking up one photo. She looked at it, looked up at Leon, made the
connection, and crumpled the photo in her hand. “You…” she said coldly.
>
“Oh shit.” Priss had that look in her eye. That cold, mean,
killer look that let you know there was no mercy heading your way.
Dim: Hey, that’s mine!
I stood up and
backed up immediately and my head sprung around looking for cover, and I saw
only Leon. Priss swung at me, but being pretty quick then, I ducked and
sprinted behind Leon. I peaked my head around to see if Priss was still there
so that I could maneuver Leon around. Priss was getting angrier by the second,
her face turning an unsettling shade of red.
Max: She’s gonna explode!
Seth: Only in the non-literal sense.
Dim: Which is better, in this case.
>
“Stay back Priss!” I yelled. “I’ve got a roughneck, and I’m not
afraid to use him!”
Jessica: Swing that roughneck, swing ‘im good!
I kept maneuvering around, trying to keep Leon in front of me like
a (human) shield, because at that moment, his over 6’4”, 240 pound frame was
the only thing that was protecting me from Priss.
>
“You behave yourself back there,” Leon said.
Seth: (Leon) I can’t turn my head to keep an eye on you.
>
“Protect me, Leon!” I begged. “Please!”
>
Leon scratched his head contemplation of my request. “Hmm.
Should I or shouldn’t I?” he asked aloud to no one in particular.
Max: (“No one in particular” (Mr. Burns)) How the hell should I know?!
>
“Only if you want me to kick your ass!” Priss threatened.
>
“Hmm, well, I certainly don’t want you to kick my ass.”
Seth: (Leon) I enjoy sitting, thanks.
Leon tried to pull away, but I clung to him
like a magnet to a refrigerator, or lint to the corners of your pants.
Damian: You’re right, it is annoying.
>
“Come on, Leon! You’re not afraid of little old her, are you?
You’re twice her size!” I protested, trying to encourage him to protect me.
>
“I’m twice a lot of people’s sizes, Nene, but that doesn’t give
me license to just go around beating them up.”
Max: (Leon) My police badge does, but that’s beside the point.
>
“Please, if you do me this one favor, I swear to God I’ll never
call you another stupid nick name again! Never!”
Seth: (Leon) I’d like it better if you didn’t swear, especially to the almighty.
>
“I’ve heard that one before,” Leon scoffed.
>
“I really mean it this time!”
>
“That’s what you said last time when I gave you that twenty to
order yourself lunch. You still haven’t paid me back for that.”
>
“Wait! Let’s make a deal! I got connections! I can get you
things! You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
Max: (Leon) What if I said “no”?
>
“Hmm, things, I like things, but I’ve already got things, so I
don’t know what other things you could get me.”
>
“I can get you money! I know a very rich person! She can give
you enough money to retire early! Or a Steve Reeves biography!
Damian: (Leon) I don’t even know who that is, why would I want their biography?
Fine Cuban
cigars! Anything! Just ask, and you shall receive!”
Jessica:
Somehow, I doubt that.
>
Leon scratched his head, and he looked at his watch. “My break’s
over,” he said suddenly. He pulled away and started walking towards the
building. As he passed Priss, he said to her “If you kill her, I know a good
attorney.”
>
“Leon!” I whined.
>
“Don’t Leon me, it’s too late for that.” he called back. “You
called me names once too often.” I watched Leon till he disappeared into the AD
Police building. Now over the years, I’ve contemplated lots of reasons as to
why he walked away. First, he did not like me. Second, maybe he was trying to
insinuate himself into Priss’s heart by letting her do what she wanted. And of
course theory number 3, he just didn’t care.
Dim: I know I don’t.
But I didn’t have time to think about it at
that exact moment. I was looking at Priss. She was not happy. I instinctively
backed up.
>
“Now w-wa-wait a minute Priss, I can explain this,” I said,
trying to grin and trying to sound calm as Priss did her Terminator walk on me.
>
“My foot has some explaining to do your ass,” she said coldly.
>
“Can I have a five second head start?”
>
“No!” With that, I ran away as fast as my little legs could
carry me. Priss was on me like ultra violet sunrays on a person on a hot summer
day.
Max: What’s with all the simile?
It was fight or flight, and I chose flight.
“Come back here Nene! You’ve gone too far this time!”
>
“Priss! Hold up! Check your blood pressure!” I screamed, saliva
starting to build up in my mouth, making kind of hard to breathe. “It was just
a joke! A joke!”
>
“Let’s see if it’s still funny after I’ve rammed my foot up your
ass a couple of times!”
Jessica: (Nene, frantic) That’s ok, I already know it won’t be!
Sara-Li (Priss) Do you really!?!
Jessica: (Nene) ...kinda...
Priss yelled. “I’ll kick you even harder if you don’t stop
running!”
>
“Priss, chill out! He didn’t even like the stupid photos! He
thought they were ugly gutter trash chicken shit!” I yelled, hoping that might
alleviate her anger.
>
“Well good for him! It’s nice to see that someone around here
has a little taste!”
Sara-Li: (Priss) Sylia couldn’t take a good picture if her life depended on it!
>
“If you do anything to me, I’ll tell Sylia on you!”
>
“Shoot your mouth off! I’m not afraid of that pompous slut!”
Seth: Watch it!
>
Ouch for Sylia, I thought. Priss did manage to catch me and
grabbed me at the shoulder, spun me around so she could hit me, but without
even thinking of it, maybe by accident, I threw my leg out
Jessica: (Nene) AAH! MY LEG!
and kicked her in the stomach. Priss fell to
the ground clutching gut,
Damian: (Gut) Let go of me!
which is a fairly vulnerable place, not that
I think I kicked her that hard. It might have simply been the unexpectedness of
it, I don’t know. I didn’t even stop to ask if her she was okay. I just ran
away again not wanting to push my luck. My best bet was the garage. After a few
seconds I looked over my shoulder and saw that Priss was after me again.
>
I had to keep running, I wouldn’t have stood a chance against
Priss when she was in kill mode. She was six inches taller than me and
outweighed me by about 15 pounds (even though she didn’t eat as much as me).
Jessica: That’s probably why she’s only 15lbs heavier, despite being half a foot taller.
But what really tipped the scales in Priss’s
favor was that she had about six or seven years of living the street life in
her, where as I did not. I eventually made it to the garage and I ducked behind
one of the cars at the far end of the lot. Priss came in, huffing and puffing
and looking like she was ready to explode. “Come out, come out, wherever you
are!” she yelled. “You can’t hide from me forever! “The sooner you come out,
the sooner it’ll be done and over with!”
Max: Or “over and done with”, how it’s usually expressed.
>
I hid behind a big Dodge caravan, breathing hard but quietly,
trying not to be noticed. I felt like Linda Hamilton hiding from Arnold
Schwarzenegger in The Terminator.
Seth: (Priss (Arnold)) Come owt wheah ehhvah you aaah!
I peered my head out to see if Priss could see me, and I saw that
Priss was taking her phone out. Someone was calling about something. I couldn’t
hear what Priss was saying, but it was something serious, as she hauled off and
did not continue looking for me. I breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you, God.”
I closed my eyes and fell asleep.
Seth: (God) You’re welcome, now leave me alone!
>
Someone woke me up about maybe an hour and a half later. It’s
hard to say. I remember being pushed back and forth and hearing an old voice.
>
“Hey kid.”
>
I started blinking my eyes and looking around. I looked to my
left and saw the guy who woke me up. It was Mr. Roland.
>
“What are you still doing here? Didn’t your shift end a while
ago?” he asked.
>
“Huh?” It took me a little while to really wake up and get back
in touch with the world. “Oh, I uh, was tired and needed a place to sleep!
That’s it!” I said trying to laugh.
>
“Uh-huh. Well, I hope you’re refreshed now. Go home.”
>
“Uh, yes sir!” I picked myself up off the ground and jogged off.
Of course, home was not where I was planning to go first. I had to go to
Sylia’s first to tell her what I did, that being if Priss hadn’t told her
already. Sylia was a reasonable person, and I just hoped and prayed to God that
maybe Sylia could explain the concept that it was all just a joke, then maybe
things could sealed up nice and fast.
Dim: She probably could. It’s whether she would that you’ve got to wonder about.
Seth: (God) And I just told you to leave me alone!
>
It took me about an hour to get down to Sylia’s store, THE SILKY
DOLL. Fortunately for me when I got there, there was no one upstairs so I was
free to wander around without looking suspicious. I took the elevator up to
Sylia’s little pent houseroom where she usually relaxed and hung out. She had a
big pool up there too. When the elevator opened up, I saw Sylia, Priss, and
Linna all converged in one little group. It looked like Sylia was handing out
the pay for their most recent job. Now I knew why Priss left earlier. When
Priss turned around and saw me in the elevator, she exploded.
>
“You! You little brat!” Priss bolted away from Linna and Sylia
in my direction.
>
“Aw no, not again!” I nearly wet my pants.
Max: (Nelson Muntz) Hah hah!
I started frantically started pushing the
elevator button to go down,
Damian: You started frantically started?
Max: That might make sense...In bizzaro world!
and I almost made it, except that Priss
reached me just before the elevator door closed. She grabbed the door and
slowly pushed it open so that she could get at me, but I was fast as lightning,
so I ducked under made it passed her by going under her legs. Ignoring Sylia
and Linna, I just ran like Hell with Priss following me in pursuit.
Max: I’ve got to wonder: how would Hell run?
Seth: Blazing, I guess.
>
“Priss! Nene! What the Hell is-” Before Sylia could finish,
Priss ran passed her, knocking her down.
Jessica: With or without touching her?
Priss chased me, and Sylia and Linna started
chasing Priss. It was like the Abbott and Costello being chased by the Mummy or
the Wolf Man.
Max: (Costello) HEY ABBOTT!
Seth: Please, don’t do that…ever again!
>
I was running pass Sylia’s pool when I slipped on some water
that was still lying there from Sylia’s last swim, I slipped
Damian: You already said that!
and I fell in. That’s why you should never
run at a public pool.
Dim: (sarcastic) Nah, really?
Anyway, after the initial splash, in which I
had gulped some water in my mouth, I saw a hand break through the water, grab
me by the collar and hoist me out.
Seth: Talk about a quick dip in the pool.
Jessica: Now that was a quick rescue response.
Dim: I somehow doubt it was for rescue purposes…
To my horror it was Priss.
Dim: And I was right to do so.
>
“Got you now, you little-” Before she could finish, I spat out
the water which I had been fortunate enough not to swallow right in her face.
Seth: Because that’s disgusting!
Sara-Li: What, swallowing right in her face.
Seth: That, too.
Priss dropped me back in the pool and I began
to swim towards the middle of the pool.
Max: (sarcastic) Thanks for repeating about the pool. I would have forgotten.
I didn’t know if Priss could swim or not, but if she could, think
she would try to swim after me in the her biker get up, ‘cause skin, tight
leather, and water don’t mix.
Damian: And neither does a well authored story and bad-grammar
Seth: Sure they do.
Damian: Ok, “genius”, how do they mix?
Seth: Well, they go together to become what I like to call “crap”.
Damian: ......touché...
I don’t think she could swim, so at the time,
I figured my best bet was to swim out to the middle of the pool, because then
I’d be out of harm’s way.
>
Unfortunately, I never made it.
Max: (Nelson
Muntz) Hah hah!
Priss grabbed me by my frantically kicked
legs and pulled me out of the pool. I was screaming and kicking frantically to
get away from her, but it did no good. Priss grabbed me, hoisted me up off the
ground by my collar and cocked her right fist back, ready to do to me what she
had done to countless boomers with her knuckle bombers.
Sara-Li: Luckily, for Nene, without the knuckle bombers.
Seth: Or knuckle bombs.
Sara-Li: Whatever.
But before she could hit me, someone grabbed
her by the arm and took her around the neck while somebody else tried grabbed
on to her left arm and tried to force her to let go of me. Sylia and Linna had
come to my rescue. Linna eventually got Priss to let go of me and I fell in the
pool again.
Dim: Aww.
I swam down to the other end of the pool while
Linna helped Sylia restrain Priss. Priss was starting to look like an out of
control boomer.
>
“Let me go! Let go of me, God damn you!” she yelled.
>
“We’ll let you go when we’re ready to let you go!” Sylia yelled.
“Now what the Hell is this all about?”
>
“I’ll kill her! I’ll kill her!” Priss yelled. “I run her over
with my bike! I’ll cover her in honey and stick between a beehive and an
anthill!”
Dim: Ok, the Bike? Nice. The rest? Too much trouble.
>
“Why?” Linna asked her. “What the Hell did she do to you?”
>
“Just give me five minutes to break every bone in her little
body!” I hoisted myself out of the pool. I was drenched and my body started
filling up with goose bumps.
>
“I uh, I sorta…kinda…” it was so hard to find the words. “I did
something that I… probably should not have done. It was only a joke, but it
probably should not have been done.”
>
“Did you give that cop those pictures?” Linna asked. “God damn
it Nene! You promised me you wouldn’t do that!”
Everyone: She lied.
>
“What?!” Before Sylia could be answered, Priss broke free,
knocking Sylia back again and hurling Linna into the pool.
Jessica: (Priss) Whoopsie.
Priss ran at me again, and this time, I was
too paralyzed with fear to move or anything like that. When Priss reached me,
she back- slapped me and I fell in the pool for a third time.
Seth: I’ve heard of drowning in your sorrows, but this is ridiculous.
Max: So was that statement.
Seth: I know. Doesn’t it fit nicely, though?
In the midst of all the water, I felt a hand
on back helping me up out of the water. I knew it wasn’t Priss, ‘cause Priss’s
hand would have come from above. When I got up out of the water and gasped for
air, I saw that it was Linna. As we got out of the water, we looked up and saw
Sylia coming out of the elevator. Priss had decided to leave, and Sylia had
chased after her.
>
Sylia’s lip was bleeding, and she was clutching her stomach.
>
Sylia gave Linna and me two of her robes while our clothes were
in her laundry. Sylia’s robe, the pink and purple one, was way too big for me. Sylia
was tall among us women, like 5’9”, 5’10”, something like that, when she wore
the robe, it left her legs exposed to the eye. I think she had it made with the
specific purpose of showing off her legs.
Sara-Li: I’m not surprised...
I was short and thin, not tall and plump like
Sylia,
Seth: Ouch.
the robe which looked short and skimpy on her
looked big and baggy on me, nearly going down to my ankles, and any attempts I
made to roll up the sleeves failed. It would have fit Linna or Priss better, as
they were closer to Sylia’s size than I was. The robe Linna had fit her way
better, ‘cause like I said, Linna was closer to Sylia’s size than me.
>
Me and Linna sat on Sylia’s couch while Sylia stood in front of
us, wiping away the last of the blood on her lip. I tried hard to ignore the
look of suppressed anger on Sylia’s face, and equally hard to ignore the
I-told-you-so look on Linna’s face.
Dim: But failed miserably.
>
“All right Nene, I want you to explain to me very accurately
what you did that got our little Priss so upset,” Sylia said.
Jessica: Little?
>
I twiddled my thumbs for a second, looking down at the floor,
trying to find the words that would explain that it was all meant as a dream.
With a big gulp, I spoke.
Damian: Who said you could have that drink? Put it down!
>
“Um, Sylia, do you remember that guy I told you about who worked
at the station with me?”
>
“Hmm, that Leon McNichol fellow. The hulking roughneck whom you
said looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger and had a crush on our Priss?”
Sara-Li: (Nene) I don’t remember saying that to her.
>
“That’s him.”
>
“Well, what about him?”
>
“Well, you mass produced all those eight by tens of Priss in
that dress-”
>
Sylia held her hand up. “Nene. Please. Don’t remind me of that
dress. Please.”
>
“Sorry, but it kind of ties in with what I did.” I took another
big gulp.
Damian: (Sylia) Hey, those aren’t free, you know?
>
“You gave ‘em to us, and
I was thinking it might be funny to see how he would react if he saw one.”
>
“What?”
>
“She gave the guy a photo,” Linna cut in.
>
“Linna!”
>
“You gave that man one of our photos?”
>
“Uh… Yeah,” I said sheepishly.
>
“Oh God Nene why did you do that?” Sylia asked.
>
“Cause I wanted to mess with him.”
>
“Nene, what have I told you about messing with people?” Sylia’s
question was very hypocritical, to say the least. What did she call her little
bet with Priss? Good, clean, wholesome, all Japanese fun?
Dim: That doesn’t allow you to emulate that sort of behaviour.
“And why that cop of all people?”
>
“Cause he likes Priss… and he works hard, and I thought that
after his failed attempt to kill that bug monster all by himself, he deserved a
little something to brighten up his gloomy life. And I mean, I wasn’t gonna let
him keep the photo or anything.”
>
“Nene, did you stop to think about what if he did want to keep
it?”
>
“No. But it didn’t really matter, ‘cause he didn’t even like the
photos I showed him.”
>
“Photos? I thought you said you were only going to show him
one.”
>
“Well, I was just going to show him one, but when he saw it, he
didn’t believe me when I told him it was Priss. So I showed him a close up of
Priss’s face and then I showed him the ones where I was pulling back on her
cheeks.”
>
“Why?”
>
“Because he didn’t believe me!” I said, getting too loud for
someone under the light. “He didn’t believe that it was Priss in the photo. I
had to try and convince him!”
>
“Why?”
Jessica: (Sylia) Why am I talking like a five year old?
>
“Because-” What was I suppose to say? “Because…” I trailed off.
“I don’t know why! I’m an idiot! I just wanted to mess with him! Don’t get all
up in my face just ‘cause you wanted to play with Priss like she was some kind
of over grown BARBIE doll!” I can’t believe I attacked Sylia like that. I did
something a little similar a month later, but looking back on it, I still can’t
believe I attacked her like that.
Dim: I have a feeling I’m going to enjoy this...not as much as I would enjoy Priss hitting her a couple of times, but it’ll do.
>
“Nene, how did my bet encourage you to go do something stupid
like this?”
>
Calling me stupid only encouraged things. “How? How didn’t it!
You were the one who went around saying that you’d give the photos to Priss’s
band friends and put ‘em in magazines and went around talking about sharing her
beauty with the world and-”
>
“Nene, I was kidding! I would never do something like that!”
Sylia said defensively.
Sara-Li: (Lina) Told ya.
>
“Well, with you, it’s hard to tell when you’re being serious and
when you’re just joking! You and your stupid bet!” Bad move.
>
“My stupid bet?!” Sylia yelled in disbelief. “I’ll have you know
Nene that my stupid bet happens to be the only reason you’re still here!”
>
“Who said you had to?”
>
“I did it for you!”
Damian: I think those last two lines should’ve been swapped
>
“You did it for yourself! We all know that!” I really lost now.
“No one said you had to go do that! No one asked you to! We all know you just
wanted to mess with Priss and make her look like a Goddamn spectacle ‘cause you
got issues with people and you think everyone has to look like a supermodel
and-” At this point, Sylia slapped me.
Dim: Ooh!
She bent down and got right up in my face,
which stung from her slap and had my hand clutching it.
>
“No one said I had to make you a Knight Saber, but I made you
one anyway!” Sylia shrieked right in my face like she was the Wicked Witch of
the West.
Seth: Only sexier.
[Everyone looks at Seth]
...I said that aloud didn’t I...well, crap...
“I could have dropped you for what you tried
to pull but instead, I took a leap of faith in your skills and decided to let
you stay! So you’d better show me some Goddamn respect, you child!” That
brought me back to Earth.
Damian: Hopefully it stopped you from blaspheming.
>
“Alright, alright, enough of this already!” Linna stood up and
stepped in, a bold and life threatening move on her part. “Yelling at each
other won’t solve anything!” Sylia looked like she wanted to say something, but
instead she took a few huffs and puffs till she calmed down.
>
“He didn’t like the photos.”
Damian: Who said that?!
>
“What?” Sylia asked. “He who?”
>
“Leon. The cop, remember? He didn’t like the photos,” I
repeated. “He thought they were ugly chicken shit gutter trash.”
>
“He actually said that?” Sylia asked.
>
“Mmm-hmm.” Sylia looked stunned, as though the idea of any one
individual not liking her photos seemed impossible.
>
“That man has no respect for a fine lady’s wardrobe,” she said.
>
“Neither does Priss,” said Linna.
Damian: Dear god...in some sick twisted way, they belong together...
>
“Well, he is a guy, Sylia,” I said. “So I guess it’s okay for
him not to. That and he doesn’t like pink.”
>
“Okay, so he didn’t like my photos,” Sylia said, muttering
something nasty about him under her breath. “Did you explain this to Priss?”
Sara-Li: (Nene) Sure...while she was trying to kill me!
>
“I tried to. All the time Priss was chasing me, I tried to
explain to her that he didn’t like the photos.”
>
“And what did she say?”
>
“She said quote good for him, it’s nice to see that someone has
a little taste. End quote.”
>
“And she still tried to beat you up?”
>
“Uh-huh.”
>
“Nene, fun is fun, but there’s a thin line between fun and just
plain mean.”
>
“And I crossed that line, right?”
Everyone: BINGO!
I looked back and forth for a second, trying
not to make any direct eye contact. “I’m… I’m real sorry Sylia.”
>
“Well, you should be. But it’s not me you should be apologizing
to. It’s Priss.”
>
“What next?”
>
“We’ll see what happens. Either Priss will come back and forget
about it, or she’ll leave.” Leave. Priss leaving. That was a thought I never
wanted to ponder. That Priss would give up the Knight Sabers. Especially now
that I was just starting to warm up to her.
>
I tried to get in touch with Priss over the next couple of days.
I wanted to tell her I was sorry. I kept calling her up on her bike, at home,
but she wouldn’t listen. She just kept cutting the line. I noticed once that
her left eye was swollen.
Everyone: Ooh!
I guess Sylia didn’t let Priss go that night without a fight. I
tried about five or six times, and Priss wouldn’t hear me out. Priss only spoke
to me one time, and that was after the sixth call.
>
“Nene, if you don’t stop harassing me like this, I’m gonna call
Leon and have him arrest you for stalking.”
>
“What? You can’t do that!” I protested.
>
“Who do you think Leon would side with? Me or you?” Priss would
go do something mean like that, and Leon probably would arrest me, if not
because Priss asked him, then probably as his revenge for all those nick names.
>
After Priss cut the line, I felt lucky. Yeah it was a mean thing
to say, but at least Priss was talking to me again. So I took it as a good
sign.
>
About a three nights after that, a boomer went rogue at a
warehouse.
Jessica: How vague...
Dim: Finally, some action.
Priss didn’t show up. It was just me and
Linna. The night and the fight is a blur to me since there were so many boomers,
but I remember that boomer quite vividly. It looked a lot like a scorpion. It
had the claws, the face, even the giant tail sticking out of its ass.
Damian: Correction: coming out above its ass.
>
I wasn’t use to working with Linna, and even though Linna had
gotten the hang of her hardsuit pretty well, she was still very much trying to
find her way as a Knight Saber. She told me to just hang back while she fought
the boomer. I couldn’t believe she was telling me what to do, ‘cause even
though I wasn’t as good as Priss or Sylia, I was a veteran compared to her. But
since I was not the girl of the hour, I decided to just go with it. Besides,
Linna needed the practice.
>
Linna put up a pretty good fight, she managed to get pass the
claws and went at it’s face, which was where the core was most likely located.
But then the boomer tried to bring it’s tail down on her, and even though she
jumped out of the way of what surely would have been a killing blow from a
razor sharp tail, she lost the change to kill the boomer quick.
Max: (Lina) Damn, those were my last quarters!
Linna tried to slice its tail off with her
ribbon cutters, a cunning move, but she just didn’t hit it hard enough. After
failing to cut the tail off, Linna somehow got herself caught in one of its
claws.
Max: Go ahead...
Seth: A wizard did it!
>
I shot at the boomer with my rail gun in an attempt to get it to
drop Linna. After a while and what must have been a hundred rail gun spikes,
the boomer threw Linna away and came after me. I don’t remember where Linna
landed,
Sara-Li: (Nene) I’m pretty sure it was somewhere in town...I think...
she was lost to me in the darkness of the
warehouse. I just kept shooting at the thing with my rail gun. After a few
minutes and few hundred more rail gun spikes, I had to give my guns a chance to
reload and I tried to fight the boomer. Falling back on everything I had
learned from personal experience and from watching Priss, I laid down a storm
of fists against the boomer’s face. I dared not jump, for fear of that tail. I
kicked at it a couple of times, I did just about everything I could think of.
Eventually, the scorpion boomer grabbed me in its claw. I remember feeling like
an empty soda can as the boomer began to crunch on my hardsuit, the pain was incredible.
I tried shooting the boomer in the face with my rail gun, an idea I had wanted
to test for some time, but it didn’t save me. Instead, it got the boomer to
throw me into a stack of girders which promptly collapsed on me and buried me,
and would have killed me if not for the toughness of my hardsuit. I tried
shooting the boomer as it came at me again, but it didn’t stop. I got on my COM
link to Sylia to ask for reinforcements.
>
“Uh, Sylia, we could really use Priss right about now! Me in
particular!” But I knew Priss would not come to my rescue. I struggled to get
free of the girders while the boomer continued to come at me between shooting
at it, but I couldn’t get free. My suit was mostly designed for support and
computer hacking, not strength and combat.
>
When the boomer was just a few inches away from me, I closed my
eyes shut while awaiting my inevitable demise. The next thing I knew, the
boomer was screaming, then suddenly silenced forever. After a few minutes, I
opened my eyes and saw the boomer to be sliced and diced,
Damian: And served on a platter.
Dim:......how many people would that serve?
Damian: [looks shocked at Dim] ...... [Looks back at the screen, unfazed] maybe five or six...
dead. I also saw tall, silver figure that was
only vaguely familiar in the darkness. When the figure stepped closer to me, I
recognized my savior. It was Sylia.
>
“Sylia!” I shrieked in relief.
>
“Nene! Are you alright?” Sylia asked me as she bent down and
started lifting and throwing away the girders. We saw Linna staggering towards
us in her hardsuit, looking like a drunk robot almost.
Sara-Li: (Lina) I shouldn’t have had all that wine.
Max: [whispering to Seth] You’re a bad influence.
Seth: [whispering back] I know.
>
“What happened?” she asked.
>
“Sylia saved the day!” I yelled at her.
>
“Linna, get over here and help!” yelled Sylia.
Damian: (Lina) Wait a minute, I gotta sit down.
>
“Okay.” It took Linna and Sylia a little while to get the
girders off me and pull me out, but we got out of there just in the nick of time,
just as the AD Police started showing up.
>
I don’t remember how many times I thanked Sylia as she helped
boost me out of the warehouse, seeing as how my thrusters were trashed by the
boomer’s claws and the girders. “I swear to God Sylia, I will be your very best
friend for the rest of your natural life!”
>
“Thanks, Nene.”
>
“No, really, I mean it! You ever need a favor, just tell me and
so let it be written so let it be done!”
Jessica: (Sylia, irritated) I said “thanks”, don’t push it!
But Sylia’s mind was elsewhere.
>
“Priss,” Sylia said so coldly it made me shiver. I could feel
Sylia’s anger as we made the jump back to the Mobile Pit.
Seth: (Nene) AAH! IT’S GOT ME!!
“When I get my hands on that little tramp,
I’ll-”
Sara-Li: (Sylia) Fill her mouth with stink bugs!
Max: Shutup, Seth.
Seth: She said it, not me!!
Max: Wait, what?!
Sara-Li: [snickers] You’re too easy, Max.
Max: Leave me alone...
Dim: I’m starting to like this one.
Jessica: HEY!
Dim: I said “like”. I can like more than one female, can’t I?
Jessica: NO!!
>
“Make her wear another dress?” I asked suddenly, feeling like it
was time for a joke. Sylia moved her head towards me. Even though I couldn’t
see her face and eyes, I could tell that she was not happy. “Nene, about that
favor…”
>
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry, I’ll shut up.”
Dim: About time.
>
The next day after work, I helped Sylia get a hold of Priss over
the computer. I was the only one who knew Priss’s e-mail address. Why Priss
never gave it to anyone else is anyone’s guess, but it made me feel kind of
special that she gave it to me and me alone. I pulled it up for Sylia, got
Priss on the line, and then I stepped aside and let Sylia have the show. Not
that I didn’t listen on the nasty conversation that followed.
>
“Priss! Where the Hell have you been?!” Sylia demanded.
Damian: (Priss) How’d you know, I’d been there?
>
“The answer is no, Sylia.
Max: (Sylia) Where, the hell, is that?!
I’ve officially retired as a model. Hey, has
your lip gained weight?”
>
“Never mind about my lip damn it! Where the Hell were you, last
night?”
>
“I was at HOT LEGS.”
>
“What the Hell were you doing at HOT LEGS?!”
>
“Singing. That is what I do in the real world, you know.”
>
“Fuck your singing!
Seth: (Priss) That’s disgusting.
We had a boomer, last night!”
>
“Really? I hadn’t noticed.”
>
“Nene could have been killed last night Priss!”
>
“It ain’t my fault Nene got herself in trouble.”
>
“Not your fault?!” Sylia screamed in disbelief. “It’s more your
fault than anyone else’s! You should have been there to back her up!”
>
“Who needs little old me when she’s got you and Linna?”
>
“That’s not the point damn it! She-”
>
“Is she dead?”
>
“What?
>
“Nene. Is she dead?”
>
“Is she- well no but-”
>
“Well then what are you complaining about? She’s still alive, no
harm, no foul.”
>
“No harm no foul?! What the Hell is wrong with you?!”
>
“You wanted Nene to be a big strong Knight Saber, now you got
it. As for me, I’m taking a vacation.”
>
“What? A vacation? How dare you! Do you expect me to just put
people’s lives on the line and throw my goals out of the loop just because you
have to go and throw a temper tantrum?! You bitch!”
>
“Excuse me, I’m throwing a temper tantrum? And just who is
calling who a bitch here? You know, it was your bet, I’m not responsible for
what happened after that. If you can give me a reason or a few reasons why it
is my fault-”
>
“You want reasons?!” Sylia cut Priss off. “Here are some goddamn
reasons! One, I thought you needed to have your goddamn ego popped in hopes
that you’d work better with Linna and Nene! Second, I got tired of seeing dress
like a tramp everyday! I just wanted you to look like a woman for once in your
goddamn useless life! Nice and presentable! That’s all I wanted from you! Nene
wasn’t trying to hurt you! No one was! And if you can’t except the fact that
Nene was just playing a joke, then maybe you are just a tramp!”
Damian: That makes her normal. If she can’t accept it, on the other hand, maybe...
>
“Okay, fine, be that way.” Priss was atypically calm and cool,
and Sylia was on a rampage. “As long as we’re being honest with each other, I
think you’re a pompous, arrogant, crooked, oversexed rich bitch who sells
gutter trash clothes that I wouldn’t give to a prostitute.
Everyone: OOH!
And speaking of egos, yours is about the size
of the USA, and could use a little deflating too. As far as pain is concerned,
you could have fooled me, you lying chicken shit. Can I help it if I’m hurt by
what Nene tried to do? If we made a bet and you lost and I made you wear some
of that worn leather that I’m so found of while I photographed you, I wouldn’t
just go off flaunting that to Nigel or whoever the Hell it is who fucks you at
night.”
Damian: Uh oh, this is going to get reeeally ugly.
>
It got pretty ugly after a while.
Damian: Told you.
It was like World War III had broken out.
They were calling each other all sorts of nasty names. I shudder to think of
what might have happened if they had been in the same room together.
>
“It was just a bet! It was all in fun!”
>
“Fun? You and I have very different definitions of the word
fun.”
>
“I’ve noticed that! You seem to think beating up the people who
would be your friends is fun!”
>
“You and Nene aren’t really my friends. You’re more like
associates. And to be honest, I’m not really into beating people up. I don’t
believe in violence. I’m more into singing and motor biking.
Damian: The correct term is motorbike riding.
And while that may sound tacky, at least I
don’t go around humiliating people to get my kicks.”
>
“Shut up!”
>
“Look Sylia, this is getting boring. I tried to let this whole
thing just role off my back,
Damian: Or roll even...
I really did. I went through our little bet, I let you all have
your fun, I let you do whatever the fuck you wanted, and after that, I tried to
just move on.” Priss was about to say more, but Sylia cut her off.
>
“Well I tried to ignore your destroying my dress, but now I
think I’ll charge you double, no, triple that of what it would have cost anyone
else!” Sylia threatened.
>
“Uh-huh, pay triple the cost for an ugly piece of gutter trash
shit dress that I didn’t even like. Oh yeah, I’m shakin’ in my boots.”
Dim: That implies that, if it were a garment she would like, she might be scared shitless. Interesting...
>
“An ugly piece of gutter trash shit? Well what about that little
number you picked out earlier? Was that an ugly piece of gutter trash shit?”
>
“Okay, you know what, fuck you Sylia, because that was just to
keep from looking suspicious. I would not have taken that thing off the racks
if there hadn’t been customers stupid enough to buy your shit up there. Pink is
not my color. You know why I wanted her dropped. You turned it into a sick
chance to entertain yourself.”
>
“Shut up! I don’t know why I bother with trash like you
sometimes!” Sylia screamed from nowhere. “To Hell with you, Priss! To Hell with
your singing! To Hell with your career in the real world! To Hell with you
personal life! Why don’t you grow up! Think about other people for a change!”
>
“I do think about other people. I thought it was getting too
dangerous for Nene to be out there fighting boomers, and you ignored me. If
anyone needs to grow up and think about other people, it’s you. And if anyone
needs to go to Hell, it’s you.”
>
“What did you say?”
>
“You heard me, Sylia. To Hell with me, eh? To Hell with you. How
do you like that? To Hell with your hard suits, to Hell with your games, to
Hell with your money, to Hell with your goals, to Hell with the clothes you
recommend,
Seth: (Priss) To hell with your everything...except your butler – he makes some mighty fine grub.
and once again, my personal favorite, to Hell with you in general.”
>
There was a pause before Priss said anything again.
>
“Oh, and you really, really, have got to calm down. You’re gonna
give yourself a heart attack one of these days.”
>
“Well I’m sorry Priss! We can’t all be heartless, stoic, uncaring
loners like you!”
>
“And apparently, we can’t all show just a little courtesy to the
underling who loses.”
>
“What the Hell is that suppose to mean?”
Damian: (Priss) What, do I have to spell it out for you?
>
“It means whatever you think it means, pumpkin. Now if you don’t
mind, I’d like to get back to my vacation.” Priss cut the line.
>
“Priss?! Priss!” Sylia kept screaming as though her screaming
would bring her back somehow. “I’ll kill her!” Sylia started screaming after
giving up with the computer. “I’ll kill her myself!”
Sara-Li: (Sylia) Don’t think I won’t do it!!
Seth: ...ok, now your starting to scare me, sweety...
>
No one heard anything from Priss for the next two weeks. A few
boomers went rogue. We handled them without Priss reasonably well, but I couldn’t
shake the feeling of expectation, the feeling that maybe next time Priss would
be there. And when she wasn’t there, I would feel all empty and sad inside.
Dim: Probably because it’s partially you fault.
Nigel asked if he was to dump Priss’s suit,
but Sylia told him to keep it on stand by. But at this point, I was starting to
think Priss was not coming back.
>
Plus there was Sylia. She went out with us every time a boomer
went rogue. I’m not quite sure why, but something about Sylia’s current physique
or brain scans made it unsafe for her to be out in her hardsuit. Towards the
end of the second week, Sylia was starting to look exhausted. Linna and I came
to the informed, democratic decision that Priss had to be won back at all
costs.
Damian: Wow, it
must have been a dramatic decision – you actually said “Linna and I”!
>
Seeing as how both me and Sylia had failed to turn Priss around,
Linna decided that she should give it a try. She was the most sociable among
us, and there for the most reasonable.
Damian: It’s “therefore”!
Initially, we thought the hard part would be
finding Priss, but Mackey filled us in that the one place we could always be
sure to find Priss was Nigel’s garage, Linna figured she’d go there one day
after work and try to reason with our favorite loner. I wanted to know what was
going on at all times when Linna eventually caught up with Priss, but I was
afraid to go there and listen in myself because I was afraid that Priss would
kick my ass. Instead, we let Sylia in on our little plan and she gave us a
two-way radio that I could use to listen on them with.
>
One dry, Tuesday evening, Priss, sure as falling rain,
Dim: I.e. there was a possibility...
went to Nigel’s for a check up, and Linna was
there waiting, with a lame excuse that she needed her scooter fixed. I was on a
bus half way across town listening to them while I planned to go to a movie.
>
“Why’d you hit Sylia a few nights ago?” Linna asked.
Damian: (Priss) Wow, straight to the point, huh, Lina? That’s not like you. (normal) Course, I can’t remember...
>
“Is it important?”
>
“I’d like to know.”
>
“I was mad. I was blowing off steam.”
>
“Not satisfied with destroying Sylia’s dress?”
Seth: (Priss) What if I said “no”?
>
“I was mad at Nene. I was trying to do the mature adult thing, which
would be to leave. Sylia got in my way and had other ideas. She brought the fat
lip on herself. If only she had just let me jerk off, you know?”
[All stare in shock]
Damian: ...I’m glad she didn’t...
Sara-Li: (Lina) I’m not sure I do...
>
“I see.”
>
“Good. As long as someone sees.” They talked for a little while
more about other stuff, work, careers, goals, etc.
>
“Don’t you think this has gone on long enough?” Linna eventually
asked, attacking the root of all our discomfort.
>
“What has?”
Dim: (Lina) The corrupt government?
Jessica: We all know the answer to that.
Dim: I know. I felt like saying it, anyway.
>
“I think we’re beyond sick, mind taunting games at this point. I
know you’re mad at Nene for what she did, but you’re really just dragging this
thing out with your little strike here-”
>
“Who says I’m dragging it out?”
>
“We do.”
>
“Am I doing anything in particular to drag it out?”
>
“You’ve been ignoring the call to arms, so we generally see that
as just dragging it out.”